Page 193 of Conveniently Wed
Miriam looked like she might burst into tears at any second. She was supposed to be transferring undergarments from the bureau to Leah’s trunk, but her progress was slow.
The weight that had pressed on Leah’s chest for two days now—since Gideon agreed to take her to Butte—was close to smothering. And Miriam’s persistent melancholy had Leah’s nerves on edge. She would not cry, though.God, please keep me strong through this.
“Leah, you just can’t leave. It isn’t right.”
Leah turned at the outburst from her friend.
Miriam’s pale green eyes were shrouded in red, her bottom lip quivering.
Leah dropped the brown traveling suit she’d been about to pack and strode across the room. She took Miriam’s hands in her own and lowered her head to peer into the girl’s face.
“Miriam, I wish I didn’t have to leave you. I really do. But I need to move on with my life and find what God would have me do. You and your brother have been so kind to take me in these last months, but I can’t depend on your hospitality forever. I need to make my own way.” Leah’s voice cracked at the end, and her eyes burned with tears that would fall any minute. She turned away so Miriam wouldn’t see her heart breaking.
Miriam tugged Leah’s hands. “But you belonghere, Leah. Don’t you see? You belong with us. Gideon will marry you, I know he will.” Miriam’s voice rose to a high pitch, laced with desperation.
Leah’s heart clenched. She searched Miriam’s face to see if there was any foreshadowing of truth in her words. But no, she spoke only the desperate longings of a lonely young woman.
Leah released one of her hands and reached to cup her cheek, wiping a tear with her thumb. “I don’t think Gideon will ever marry again. And my presence here is just making things harder for him. It’s better if I go.”
“But, Leah.” Miriam’s voice was an avalanche of pleading. Then it fell to almost a whisper. “Don’t you knowIneed you?”
Leah couldn’t stand it any longer. She pulled the girl into a fierce embrace and let the tears stream down her face.Oh, God, why does this have to be so hard?
After a few minutes, she worked to control her weeping, but Miriam’s shuddering sobs continued. Leah kept the girl in the hug, gently stroking her back while she searched for the words in her heart.
“God has wonderful things planned for your life, Miriam Bryant. I don’t want you to forget that, do you hear me?” She sniffed back the burn of fresh tears. “You just have to make sure you lean on Him no matter what. And always be seeking His will.”
She leaned back enough to see Miriam’s face, but kept one arm wrapped around the girl. “God will take you to better places than you could ever imagine. But wherever you go, make sure you stay in touch with me, do you hear? And if you’re ever nearby, I expect a visit. Understood?”
Leah paused as Miriam sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes with a sleeve, then nodded.
“All right, then. I think this trunk is ready to go. Would you mind helping me carry it to the wagon?”
She received another nod, then released Miriam and the women each took an end of the crate.
The wagon and horses were waiting by the front porch, and they were able to load the trunk with no problems.
“I suppose Gideon must be in the barn. I’ll go let him know I’m ready.” The last thing Leah wanted to do was find Gideon. But the morning was passing quickly and they needed to get on the trail. Besides, he’d been avoiding her for days now, so it wasn’t likely he’d want to talk.
As she entered the dim light of the barn, Gideon came out of Bethany’s stall. A few pieces of hay still clung to his navy wool shirt. When he approached, she couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m ready when you are.”
She expected a gruff response, or maybe just a growl of acknowledgment. Those were about the only words he spoke these days. But he didn’t make any sound.
After a few moments of silence, she finally forced her gaze up to him. He had his hands behind his back, his attention focused on the ground where he was kicking at a dirt clod.
“You know.” His voice was deep, almost raspy, as if he hadn’t used it in a while. “You don’t have to go. You can stay on here as long as you want.”
Leah’s chest burned all the way down, and her heart convulsed at the vise that was squeezing the life out of her.Lord, You’re giving me more than I can bear. If You want me to leave, You have to help me.
She swallowed hard and turned her gaze to look at the stall door, anything so she didn’t have to see the man in front of her. “I…I don’t think…”Lord, please!“I think I need to go.” The words came out in a tumble, as if they knew she would never let them out if they didn’t speak now.
Her disobedient eyes trailed up to Gideon’s face in time to see his expression change to the impassive look she knew so well. His eyes shuttered, sending painful memories of the way he’d looked when she first arrived at the cabin.
“Let’s go then.” It was an order, like what he’d say to Drifter. And he marched past her out of the barn.
31
After three long, awkward hours in the wagon, rows of buildings appeared in the valley below. This must be Butte City sprawling out before them. She tried not to wrinkle her nose at the sight. The town looked dirty, even from this distance, although it was a bit larger than she had imagined.
