Page 178 of Conveniently Wed
As she followed him through the herd, they came to a gaunt cow with a large calf nursing at her side. Gideon set the bucket down and placed a hand on the mother’s head.
“See this girl? Her calf is too big to be nursing still. He’s taking all the nutrients she needs. If we don’t wean him soon, she’ll starve to death.”
Leah stood behind him, watching the pair. “What can you do to stop him?”
She watched as Gideon took a handful of the black goo and rubbed a thick coat on the cow’s udder. “This stuff is actually good for the cow’s skin, but the stench should help discourage the little one from nursing.”
When he’d checked and doctored each animal, she followed him back to the barn, a bit like a pet dog on its master’s heel. She was learning so much, though, just walking with him and asking questions. Did he mind all the queries? He didn’t seem annoyed. If anything he seemed more animated as he shared his knowledge.
Gideon closed the barn door and eyed the gray sky overhead. “It’s about time to head back to the house for lunch.”
Disappointment pinched her chest. Though she’d long since lost all feeling in her toes, she wouldn’t have traded this morning for a thousand summer days.
“Gideon.” She wasn’t sure how to thank him, or even if she should try.
He swung his gaze from the sky to her face. He was so tall, and the width of his shoulders added to the feeling of strength he emanated.
“Yes?” His expression was earnest, almost concerned.
“Thank you for letting me come.”
His face relaxed a bit, his eyes softening into an almost-smile. He took a step forward, bringing them just an arm length apart. His eyes had darkened into a deep emerald, stealing Leah’s breath with their magnetism. His scent filled her head—the remnants of leather and pine and something spicy she couldn’t put a finger on.
He was looking deep inside her now, as if searching for an answer. Her whole being splayed for him to see—her fears, her hopes.
He took another step, closing the distance between them. Her chin rose, her eyes locked in his. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. He was so close.
His hand touched her cheek. She leaned into his warmth. Somehow his glove had disappeared.
And then his head came down, and his lips brushed hers. Warm, gentle, and exquisite. Her eyes fluttered shut as she breathed him in.
Her kiss was so sweet, her virgin lips so soft and supple. Their touch brought Gideon back for another taste. His hand crept up to her hair, weaving his fingers through the softness, thankful he’d shucked his gloves. He deepened the kiss, and she melted into his hands. This woman was amazing. Beautiful, strong, and oh so sweet.
She released a little mew, sending a shiver of desire through him. She was kissing him back now, and he forced himself to keep his hands above her shoulders. He had to stay strong with her, couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable…to care.
But then he felt it, the old familiar fear rising in his gut. Clawing his throat and souring the sweetness that was Leah’s kiss.
He tore himself away and sucked in a breath. “I can’t, Leah…I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t look in her eyes, couldn’t let them capture him, couldn’t see the disappointment there. He spun around, puttinghis back to her. He struggled to get control of himself, breathing deeply through his mouth.
A hand touched his arm. “Gideon?”
Her voice was full of questions. He hated himself. Why had he gotten close to her? Why had he allowed her to come out here in the first place? Having her so near all morning had weakened his defenses, twisted his mind into thinking a little taste wouldn’t hurt.
“We need to get back now.” He didn’t mean for his voice to sound as harsh as it came out, but an apology would weaken his defenses…again.
Instead, he turned and marched toward the horses. A glimpse of her hurt expression as he brushed past plunged a knife into his gut. He relished the pain.
25
Leah stared out the window into the darkness, pulling the shawl tight around her shoulders.
“Worrying won’t bring him back any faster, Leah. You might as well sit down and relax.” Miriam’s voice was motherly, with a strong hint of understanding.
Leah didn’t turn away from the glass. Her cheeks were likely pink. Memories of the kiss wouldn’t stop replaying through her mind. It had been amazing, better than she’d dreamed her first kiss would be. Until the end, that is… Poor Gideon. It was fear he fought. She’d seen it haunt his eyes every time he looked at her since that wonderful day last week.
Lord, please help him release his fear. Show him he can rest in You.It was the mantra she’d prayed for months now, but a peace cloaked her heart as she released the prayer now.
