Page 91 of Ruined By Protection
Shame washes over me. I hadn't meant to but he's right. I lumped them all together with Elliott.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, barely audible. "I didn't mean?—"
"You did," Damiano cuts me off. "And I understand why. Your world has been black and white. Elliott showed you the darkest black possible. So you believe anything resembling violence must be the same shade."
He walks around the desk and leans on its edge, directly before me now.
"But there are many shades of gray between black and white, Hazel. We live in those shades."
I look up at him, trying to assimilate his meaning.
"The men in this family protect what is theirs. Yes, sometimes with violence. But never for pleasure. Never for control. Always for protection."
I think about Matteo's face when he saw my bruises. The rage in his eyes wasn't for himself—it was for me.
"Matteo cares for you," Damiano says, reading my thoughts. "More than he should, perhaps. He wants to protect you."
"By killing Elliott?" I ask, my voice small.
"By eliminating a threat that will never stop hunting you." Damiano's voice is matter-of-fact. "Elliott has already shown he will hurt anyone to get to you. Next time it might not be just a threat. Next time someone might die."
The truth of his words sinks in. Elliott will never stop. He proved that by going after Evelyn.
"I understand if you cannot accept this," Damiano continues. "Not everyone is meant for our world. But do not mistake what we do for what Elliott did to you."
I sit there, absorbing his words, feeling his chastening force a shift inside me. The black and white world I've lived in starts to blur into shades of gray.
"I should apologize to Matteo," I say finally.
Damiano nods. "Yes, you should. But not tonight. Give him time to cool off." He stands. "Rest now. We'll handle things from here."
As I rise to leave the Don’s office a strange calm settles over me. I've spent two years living in fear of a monster wearing a respectable face. Maybe what I need now isn't respectability.
Maybe what I need are monsters who admit their failings as well as their powers.
CHAPTER 28
Matteo
Istand outside the mansion, cigarette burning between my fingers as I stare into the darkness. The night air is cold but I barely feel it. My mind keeps replaying Hazel's words.
"Killing someone, even the filthiest man alive, makes you no better than him."
The cigarette burns down to my fingers and I curse, flicking it away. I pull another from the pack, lighting it with hands that aren't quite steady.
She thinks I'm like him. Like Montgomery. The thought makes my stomach turn.
I take a long drag so the smoke fills my lungs. I understand her fear of violence—Christ, after what she's been through, how could she not be afraid? But to compare me to that piece of shit who beat her, controlled her, terrorized her...
I exhale slowly, watching the smoke dissipate into the night air. Maybe she's right. Maybe there's something so broken in me that I can't see it anymore. Violence has been part of my life forso long that I don't question it. It's just a tool, like a hammer or a wrench. You use what works for the job.
And for men like Montgomery, only one thing works.
The sound of footsteps on gravel pulls me from my thoughts. Daniel approaches, his face serious in the dim light from the mansion windows.
"Matteo." His voice is calm, professional. "Damiano wants to talk. They're waiting for you inside."
I exhale the last of the smoke. "Alright."
