Page 115 of Ruined By Protection
The pieces of Matteo come together more clearly now—his fierce protectiveness, his unshakable loyalty to the Feretti family. It wasn't just about power or money, it was about security for the people he loved. I can relate to that.
"And your sister? Lucia?"
I watch Matteo's expression soften at the mention of his sister.
"Lucia lives in England now. Has been there since she went to college at Oxford."
"Oxford?" I can't hide my surprise. "That's impressive."
Matteo nods, pride evident in his eyes. "She was always the smart one. Got a full scholarship to study literature. Now she teaches at some fancy university there."
I try to picture this sister I've never met—a female version of Matteo perhaps but with books instead of guns, lecture halls instead of back rooms of casinos.
"Does she know?" I ask carefully. "About what you do?"
He shifts on the bed, his hand still holding mine. "She knows enough. Not the details but she understands where the money for her education really came from." His thumb traces circles on my palm. "We don't talk about it. It's better that way."
"Do you miss her?" I ask, watching his face.
Something vulnerable flashes in his eyes before he can mask it. "Every day," he admits quietly. "We talk on the phone as often as we can. With the time difference it's usually early morning for me, evening for her."
I imagine Matteo in his apartment at dawn, coffee in hand, speaking softly to his sister across an ocean. The glimpse of tenderness makes my heart ache.
"She comes back to visit but not often enough," he continues. "Maybe once a year if I'm lucky. Christmas sometimes, or summer break."
"When did you last see her?"
"Eight months ago." He runs a hand through his hair. "She's busy with her career, building her own life. It's what I wanted for her—to be far away from all this."
I hear what he doesn't say: that he deliberately keeps his sister at a distance to protect her from his world. That loving someone sometimes means letting them go.
"What's she like?" I ask, curious about this woman who shares Matteo's blood but lives such a different life.
His smile returns, wider now. "Stubborn as hell. Smart enough to argue circles around you without you realizing you've lost until it's too late." He laughs softly. "But kind, too. She volunteers to teach literacy to poor kids. Sends me pictures of her students when they read their first book solo."
I can see how much he loves her by the way his entire demeanor changes when he talks about her—the violent edge softens, his shoulders relax, his eyes warm.
"Being part of this family..." he starts, then pauses to select his words carefully. "It changes you. Makes you forget there's another way to live."
I wait, giving him space to continue.
"The Ferettis look terrifying to outsiders. And they are." His jaw tightens. "I won't lie to you, Hazel. I've done things that would make you look at me differently if you knew the details."
"Then why stay?" I ask softly.
He meets my eyes. "Loyalty. It's something most people don't understand these days. When Damiano secured my family’s safety he didn't just solve a temporary problem. He made us part of something bigger."
"Like a real family?"
"Yes and no." Matteo's voice drops lower. "It's not like a normal family where love is unconditional. Here everything comes with conditions. But those conditions are clear. You know where you stand."
I think about my own family—how I've spent years trying to protect them, never knowing if I was doing enough.
"I'm not trying to make this life look beautiful," Matteo continues, a hardness entering his voice. "It isn't. There's violence, danger, constant watching over your shoulder. People die. Sometimes they die because of decisions we make."
His honesty catches me off guard. Elliott always tried to present his world as ideal, hiding the ugliness behind closed doors.
"But there's also protection," he says. "Security. When you're loyal to the family they're loyal in return. Your problems become their problems."
