Page 90 of Catch Me
I groaned and turned to lean back against the wall. My bladder was ready to explode, but I didn’t want this conversation to end yet. “I either get bored or hardcore attached, which nobody likes.”
“I’m sure some people do.”
“No, you don’t get it. I’m talking clingy, needy, and once there’s a connection, I’m all in. If they don’t run for the hills, they’re generally assholes who use people because they like feeling wanted. And relationships don’t really work with my schedule during the season, so unless we’re both willing to put in a lot of work...” I shrugged. “I like my life exactly how it is.”
“It doesn’t work with the people I’ve tried to be with,” he said softly.
“Why not?”
He cleared his throat and stepped away from the building. “Maybe we just haven’t fit. At this point, I’d rather be single.”
He went inside, but I stayed where I was.
After everything I’d seen and heard from him, I was certain about him being gay, but there wasn’t much I could do for him if he wasn’t ready to hear it. In the time he’d been here, I felt like he’d come closer to that point, but I didn’t know him well enough to be sure. I also couldn’t claim to still be an objective party.
But Ihadto be.
Suddenly, I thought of that Taylor Swift song, and it felt fitting.
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
*****
If he didn’t have to be at the field, I would’ve suggested we stay another night. Things were different out in those woods, like it was another reality. I’d been at peace and it seemed like Roman was too.
He’d opened up to me while we were camping, and I’d seen more of him, which was both good and bad. Good because he was a deeper person than most would think and I found him very interesting. Bad because I wanted to know more and I was beginning tonoticehim more.
I was trying to rein it in. He wanted a friend and so did I. It wasn’t fair for me to look at him as more than that.
It had rained all day, so staying was pointless anyway. When we got back, he’d become closed off and didn’t eat dinner with me. Maybe he was just tired. I wouldn’t read into it.
He’d been at the field for a while and I’d stayed home like I did last week. It wasn’t out of the ordinary as long as I didn’t count how I’d almost gotten in my Jeep a couple of times to check how things were going.
A text wasn’t an overstep, right?
Trav:Hey
Roman:Hey back? That didn’t feel right
Trav:It didn’t. Wait, are you always the one who texts me first?
Roman:Let’s not confirm that
Trav:
How are things going?
He sent me a picture of his tablet, and I nearly spit out my coffee. There was a drawing of Connor with Jack behind him. Connor’s arms were out to the sides as they stood on the bow of the Titanic.
Trav:Productive today
Roman:Want one of you and Tessa?
Trav:Only if I’m the Jack in this situation
Roman:Sure. I’m on my way back
Pouring myself another cup of coffee, I thought about what to make for dinner. I hadn’t asked enough about Roman’s favorite foods. He always ate what I made, but it could’ve just been out of necessity. He may be a bit of a dick, but I didn’t think he’d outright call someone’s cooking trash.
