Page 50 of Catch Me
“What isn’t awkward with us?”
A nervous laugh escaped him. “Based. Shit, I’m adopting Brooks’ stupid words.”
“He’s annoying, but you guys seem really in love.”
The awkwardness fled from his face and was replaced with a smile that proved my statement. “Yeah, we are.” He got serious again, which made my stomach lurch. “Why are you bringing up the past?”
“Because I have to.”
“Is this some seven-step program?”
“No, I’m just . . . self-discovering.”
His eyes widened a little. “Like . . .”
“No,” I snapped. “I’m not...Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound hostile.”
“I mean, you’re always hostile.”
“With you, yeah.”
“That makes it better.” There was an amused smile on his face now. That expression and his awkward one were the two ways I saw Til. They just encompassed his whole personality. He wasgood, and that was how I knew he absolutely despised me.
“Can you answer the question, Til?”
“Um . . . I don’t know how.”
“It’s a simple question.”
“Alright, then you answer it first.”
Tipping my head back, I took a long breath of the night air. It was cleaner than in Chicago, but it still didn’t help me feel better.
“I can’t really answer it,” I admitted. “It confuses me. And it...”
“Scares you?”
I just nodded.
“Look, I don’t think it matters what we did back then unless it helps you figure things out. Will it?”
“I think so.”
“Tell me if it was for the sex or more.”
I didn’t want to meet his eyes, but I did. There wasn’t anger or hostility there. He hadn’t threatened my life or been rude at all.
“It was more,” I said in almost a whisper.
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Yeah.”
“It wasn’t more for me.”
“Never?”
He shook his head. My nostrils flared, and it took a god-tier level of effort to keep from hanging up. I already knew the answer and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Maybe it was because it had been such a big thing for me back then, but now I was almost...offended?
