Page 35 of Catch Me
Roman was getting here today, and I was worried about it. Not because of him, per se, but I was so used to living alone that having someone in my space for a few weeks was going to be weird. I had some content planned and I wanted to do some LIVEs, so it felt like I’d have to do them in my office or something.
Fuck that. I was just gonna do what I always did. Besides, he followed me on Instagram. If he came out of his room and was subjected to me making a video, he could deal with it. Just like I didn’t really give a shit what his views were, I didn’t particularly care if he was uncomfortable about mine. Or me as a person.
They could censor me all they wanted. I’d never apologize for who I was and what I stood for.
I had a LIVE that I was doing with Sen today, and I was nervous for his sake. He didn’t want to go into the whole story right now. It was more to get a feel for it and see how comfortable he was. I hoped that the people in the chat would be supportive and make him feel better.
Trav:Ready?
Sen:No. But yeah.Can Kai be on with me?
Trav:Are you kidding? They’ll fucking love him.
As I sat on the deck, I smiled. The idea of them both joining me was exciting. The thirst would be strong, though. It was inescapable.
I started the video, then added Sen. He looked pale and was fidgeting a lot. When Kai came into view, he leaned in to whisper something in his ear that made Sen smile.
Who’s that?
Lord save us. You brought a feast.
“Okay,” I laughed. “These are my friends, Sen and Kai. Yes, they’re together, so let’s be more respectful in the comments. Do you guys want to sort of introduce yourselves? Tell us some things, give us a fun fact?”
Kai grinned, which set the chat off again. “I’m Kai. I’m a Virgo, I play college football as a wide receiver, I like long walks on the beach and blond men.”
Sen swatted him in the chest with a frown. Kai just seemed to enjoy it.
“Okay,” Kai went on. “A fun fact about me...I’m just fun all around. Oh, I love ice skating and I’m really good at it.”
Swoon.
Can you demonstrate?
“I’m Sen.” He chewed on his lip and took a deep breath. “I’m a welder and obviously the luckiest guy ever because I’m with this man, who you’re all drooling over.”
“He’s my one and only,” Kai warned. “Forever ever. Don’t get any ideas.”
Sen laughed and shook his head. “I’m terrible at ice skating, but I’m pretty good at throwing an ax. Does that count as a fun fact?”
“Sounds great to me,” I replied. “Do you want to tell us a little bit about your experiences? I know you want to keep a lot of the details to yourself for now.”
“Sure. I didn’t come out until I was twenty, which was a year ago. It was Kai who helped me accept who I was. He was relentless, but I’ve never been more grateful for anything. Before, I was depressed, and honestly, I hated myself. I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that I was gay, but what it really came down to for me was the fear of my parents. They were disappointed, and my dad...He was angry. They threatened to pull my funding for school and they wanted to send me back to...conversion therapy.”
No. Wtf.
We support you. You’re amazing.
He smiled and glanced at Kai, who winked at him. “I don’t think a lot of people think about what it’s like after conversion therapy. I mean, they do, but there are so many different experiences. Mine is going to be different from a thousand others. You know, once I started to unravel the lies and repression, I accepted myself pretty quickly. I think it was because I knew that I was gay, and I knew that I was pretending because of my parents. Without Kai, I don’t think I would’ve ever done it. He supported me more than most peoplewould. I started school in September, and we were dating by the middle of October. We fell in love in December, then moved in together in January.
“It was fast, trauma or not. We connected on a deep level, and we saw each other’s pain. Hesaw me, and I’d never experienced that before. The total acceptance I found in him was addicting, honestly, and I’m not saying that anyone should fall in love in two months or bare your soul to someone so quickly, but our story is perfect for us. That’s the point I’m trying to make. Kai came out before he was even in middle school. I came out at twenty. Some people come out at forty or not at all. I wish we could all have what Kai did growing up, but the world sucks. Travis wants to be part of changing that. So do I. Kai’s family owns a business that supports LGBTQ youths and promotes gender diversity in the workplace. I’m in a field dominated by straight men. We’re doing what we can and trying not to accept the current state of things.”
“If you’re in Maine,” I said, “check out the program Kai’s dad started. I’ll make a post about it. Blow it up because someday, it’ll be his, and he wants to spread it to other states.”
“Aw, are you gonna make me famous?” Kai asked.
“Pretty sure half the people here are gonna find you on Insta after this just because of your face.”
“Sounds like I’ll have to start posting more shirtless pics.” Sen narrowed his eyes at him. “Kidding, baby. Shirtless pics are only for you.”
