Page 27 of Catch Me
XOXO
“He was twenty when he accepted that he was gay. We didn’t talk for a long time, but we actually just recently reconnected. He told me his story and it’s heartbreaking. You all know about my life, and I want you to see the side of things that is much darker and so full of hate that it breaks people.”
How could his parents do that to him?
SO angry
I thought about Roman and what Tilian had said when I was on the phone with Sen. If it was him here, maybe he wanted—or needed—to hear the things I talked about on these videos.
“Not just the negative stuff. There’s hope, no matter what someone has gone through. Even if you haven’t been in conversion therapy, sometimes it isn’t easy to accept who you are, especially when so many people around you don’t. I wish I could come on here and say that it gets better once you decide to live authentically, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. I don’t let most things bother me anymore, but I still have experiences that hurt me. Some make me angry. I’m in a field that, let’s be honest, isn’t easy for gay men. I receive hateful messages all the time, and I couldn’t tell you how many hostile or disgusted looks I get.
“It’s never easy, no matter who you are, and for many, it isn’t safe to be out. I think about that every single night. That’s why I do this. For all of you and for me—past me, present me, and future me. There will always be people trying to silence us, to drown us out and put beeswax in their ears. I think those of us who can, should speak louder. We have to protect each other, especially those who are stuck being silent. I’m a safe place for you. I’m always gonna be here, and if there’s more that I can do, I will. I’ll always lend you my voice.”
While comments came in, I considered my next words carefully. Like the post I made earlier, this was just informative. Facts, not opinions. I wasn’t endorsing anything.
Fuck it.
“Before I hop off, I want to say one thing. Right now, just under half of the states in the U.S. have laws prohibiting the use of conversion therapy. There’s a list in my bio if you’re interested in organizing in your state. And this is for informational purposes only, of course. Have a safe night, y’all.”
I offered them a bright smile before I ended the LIVE.
My phone buzzed and my stomach lurched. They couldn’t have seen it already. When I saw who it was from, I both relaxed and tensed.
Roman:See?
Cocking my head, I stared at the image.
Huh. I guess he was right about the hair. It looked spot on now.
*****
“They love the idea,” Pete said when he walked into his office.
I was sitting on the windowsill, doom scrolling through Instagram. It felt like he’d been gone forever, and I’d already paced around the whole building multiple times. Watching reels wasn’t any more productive, but it was an effective way for me to distract myself.
“Are they running with it?” I asked without looking up. I was still pissy with him, so I was trying to keep things business only.
“Most likely. You know how they are, though. There are a dozen people to clear it with, budgets to set, and paperwork to do.”
“It’ll come out, what, in August next year?”
“There’s time. It’s only November.”
“Just don’t want to give him a tight schedule. He’s in school.”
“He’ll have a few months, most likely. Don’t worry so much.”
“Cool. I’ll update him.”
When I stood, he bit his lip. Fucking hell.
I sighed. “Is it about the LIVE?”
“I told you to tone it down, Trav.”
“I have. All I did was spout some facts.”
“Facts that are easily interpreted as taking a stance.”
