Page 184 of Catch Me
There was no inflection in his voice, but I nodded. He walked past me out the door, leaving me in my room alone. That seemed ironic.
I wanted to trust that he meant what he said about seeing me tomorrow. This time, I wasn’t going to put myself out there, though. I couldn’t make every single move without knowing if it was doing any good. The stress was giving me a migraine.
After turning on the TV, I sat on my bed and started drawing to keep myself distracted.
Chapter 61
Travis
I’d asked myself what I was doing so many times in the past week that it had become my mantra.
Might as well try it again.
What the fuck am I doing?
No matter how many times I asked, I couldn’t come up with an answer. There was the immediate urge to run back to Roman’s room and put everything on the line for him. Honestly, if he very clearly asked me to, I’d probably just do it and pray to the universe that it didn’t fuck me up as bad as last time.
I was fine before. It had been almost a year, and even though it was still there, lurking in the background, it was beginning to become part of my past. If it came into my head, I felt it again, but one day, it would have faded into a distant what-if.
It would be so easy to give in. I’d already done that back in his room—at least, physically. For me, that was a lot, and it was messing with my head, but if I was being honest, my head was already trying to dive in. It had been since the moment I saw him in my damn kitchen, petting Tessa like it was December again.
We couldn’t go back to that, but if I chose to, we could go forward. He’d already expressed his interest in that, and of all people, I knew how huge that was for him. A year ago, he’d be fighting tooth and nail. Even when he’d given in, he’d been so afraid. Fear still lived in his eyes, but there was also bravery, a kind that came from discovering who he was and choosing not to apologize for it.
I was fucking proud of him.
And part of me hated that.
I’d been so lost in my thoughts that when someone set a beer in front of me, I jumped.
We weren’t getting drunk tonight for obvious reasons, but Spencer wanted us to take a load off. Today had been game five, and they were all so close together that there’d been a few moments when I wondered why I’d decided to play baseball. After the World Series was over, I might need a solid couple of weeks off from even looking at a ball.
“You’re spacey,” Mikey noted, scooting his chair closer to me.
“I’m good. Tired like everyone else.”
“Is it Roman?”
Staring into my beer, I casually traced the rim of the glass. “Why would it be Roman?”
He snorted. “I’ve seen him at the games, and more importantly, I’ve seen you see him.”
“Pretty sure you’re just drunk.”
“Shut the fuck up, man. Do whatever you’re gonna do, but you’re allowed to talk about it, you know.”
“He’s just a friend.”
“Something happened. In January, you were really off.”
After draining my beer, I leaned an elbow on the table and looked at him. “You’re so obsessed with my love life. You sure you aren’t into me?”
He chuckled around his glass. “If I ever find myself curious about the other side, you’ll be the first man I contact.”
I frowned. “Curiosity is a hard pass for me, but I bet Tony would be all for exploration.”
When Mikey laughed, Tony looked over at us. A scowl took up residence on his face, and with his mustache, he looked a bit like Waluigi. I opened my mouth but shut it quickly, deciding it wasn’t the best thing to say when we were supposed to be good sports.
“Alright,” Spencer said. He got to his feet and held a hand up until the guys quieted down. “If we win in Atlanta—”
