Page 130 of Catch Me
Where are you?
I waited ten minutes before I texted again.
Trav:Roman. Please tell me you didn’t
My fingers shook as I hit the call button. It rang until it reached his voicemail. The sound of his voice made my eyes sting. When it beeped, I took a shaky breath and started pacing.
“Roman...I don’t know what happened. Your stuff is gone and it’s only eight. We were supposed to go to breakfast. I don’t know why I’m telling you that. You already know.”
Shit, I was rambling. It was impossible to organize my thoughts when I was like this.
“Look, if something happened, just tell me. You said that you would talk to me, but you left. You...just left after you made a promise to me. Doesn’t that mean something to you?” I paused, leaning my hand against the counter. “Did it ever mean something to you? Any of it?”
I was an idiot. He’d been here for three weeks, and we hadn’t interacted much before that. Being in such close proximity obviously affected me and made me get used to his presence. I started liking him too quickly, and I’d thought he felt the same way, so I leaned into it.
But this was Roman. People didn’t change that easily, and I shouldn’t have given into my feelings like that. Maybe he used me as relief or maybe he just rushed and freaked out. I could deal with the former; it was shitty, but oh well. The second one we could have dealt with too, but he didn’t give us the chance. He wouldn’t answer me now, which made the reality of the situation settle uncomfortably.
If he talked to me, we’d figure it out, whether we cut it off or moved forward. But heleft. I knew his plane didn’t leave until four in the morning, which meant he was ignoring me.
I would wait. I’d give him enough time to work some things out in his head. Even a text saying he needed time would suffice.
Even as I let myself feel a smidge of hope, I knew I had to put a boundary in my place. For my own good. I couldn’t wait forever. Seven days. If he couldn’t even manage a text in that time, I couldn’t do this. I would let it destroy me, so I had to let it go after that.
“A week, Roman. Take some time to think, but I need to hearsomething. I think that’s fair to both of us. Just be safe, okay? Remember that spark, the one in the woods. It has everything you need to find yourself.” I walked over to the door and flipped the light switch up. “I’ll leave the light on, ’kay? Until you come back.”
I wanted to say more, but there was nothing else that was important. I didn’t want to talk to his voicemail. I wanted to talk to him.
*****
“Eggnog,” Dad announced as he came into the living room.
I took it with a smile and held the warm cup between my hands. This place looked exactly the same as it had six years ago when I left. It was the same as when my mom was alive. My dad wasn’t the type to change things, especially when it came to home décor.
“The tree looks nice,” I said.
He made an affirmative sound and moved over to it. “These are new lights. Supposedly, they won’t stop working if any of the bulbs break.”
“Supposedly. Maybe we should test it out.”
“Don’t go ruining my tree. Oh, this box.” He set his eggnog down and turned in a circle. I could see the gears turning as he ran his hands through his greying hair and tried to remember where he’d put it.
“That one?” I nodded toward an old box on the other side of the tree.
“Yes. Mom’s ornaments are in here and the ones you made every year. We have to put those up.”
We always did that together on Christmas Eve. I didn’t know why we’d started doing it, but waiting until today had become our ritual. Maybe it was too sad to have them up for weeks. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, she was with us, and that was enough.
“Let me finish this eggnog and we’ll do it,” I said.
He sat beside me and took a drink. “You okay, Trav?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re not as upbeat as usual. Is work stressing you out?”
“We haven’t had much to do. In January, we’ll probably have more interviews and all that boring stuff. I know they want me in a couple of commercials.”
“Wow, that’s incredible. You’ll have to tell me which ones so I can find them.”
