Page 103 of Catch Me
He turned around, and I watched him take a few steps. “I’m sorry I made everything uncomfortable.”
He looked at me and crossed his arms. “I’m not uncomfortable.”
“I tried to...” I swallowed and looked at the ground. “Obviously, you didn’t want that. I shouldn’t have thought...”
The crunch of leaves made me look up. He was closer, but he still kept a healthy distance.
“Are you gay?”
“No,” I said immediately, that familiar aggression rising to lurk just beneath my skin.
He studied my face. “You’ve been with men.” My breath hitched, but I forced myself to nod. “Have you kissed a guy?” I shook my head. “Sex?” Nod. “More than one?” Nod. “Are you gay, Roman?”
“No.”
“Then, no.”
My emotions were at war, and I couldn’t latch onto any individual one. “But—”
“What do you expect here? If you’re not gay, why would I want to kiss you?”
I dropped my gaze, unsure how to answer. He sighed, but I couldn’t look at him.
“Look, man, I live in the open, loud and proud. I’m happy with my life. Being alone with my dog makes me perfectly content. I really hope you come to terms with who you are someday, and if you want my help, I can point you in the right direction.”
“What if I want to figure it out with you?” I asked quietly.
“I’m not a life coach or a therapist. You clearly don’t have any idea what you want or who you are.”
My jaw clenched, and when I lifted my gaze, the nonchalant expression on his face made me angrier. “I know who I am.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
He scoffed. “You’re pushing it all down until you can’t stand it anymore, then afterward, you do it again. It’s not helping anyone, and it’s not good for you.”
“But Kai and Sen—”
“I amnotKai, Roman. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I can help you.”
“I have to go.” I brushed past without looking at him.
“Roman.”
No, no, no. I fucked up. It was time for me to go home. I shouldn’t have waited. If I left now, I’d be back home before the sun rose tomorrow.
Travis grabbed my bicep and turned me around. I felt like shoving him away from me, but his hand cupped the side of my neck and his lips met mine. Without thought or intention, I reached up to tangle my fingers in his hair, holding him to me.
In most things I’d ever done, I was in control, guiding my interactions and maintaining power over them, even when I gave into my urges. This was...not that.
Suddenly, I was pressed up against a tree. My lips parted and the kiss deepened, making my entire body feel supercharged. He tilted his head and kept his lips firmly against mine for another second.
“Feel that?” he asked. I nodded, unable to deny it. “This is what got me and Sen punished at conversion camp. It’s what woke me up and made me promise myself I’d never hide or apologize again.”
I tried to kiss him, but he pulled back. Everything inside of me was telling me that I needed to feel like I had a minute ago.
“Say it or don’t, but you’re gay, Roman.”
