Page 78 of Catch Me
“I’m twenty-two now, Mom. Pretty sure my shitty personality is set in stone.”
“You’re beautiful, and when you want to be, you’re very sweet. Don’t think the worst about yourself just because you might have made some mistakes.”
“Don’t those make us who we are?”
“No, our actions do. Start doing better and soon, the good will outshine the bad. That pile of mistakes will barely be noticeable someday.”
“Maybe.”
“I need you to call me when you get to your campsite. If you don’t have service, pack up and go somewhere else.”
“You’re ridiculous, but okay. I’ll call you.”
“I love you, Rome.”
“Love you too.”
Her words stuck with me while I pulled up my playlist. I was already working on changing, even though I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant yet. It was encouraging to think that anything I’d done in the past could stay there as long as I continued to do good.
Could I do good? I guess we’d see.
My finger paused over the playlist I’d made because of Tilian. It had been in my library for six years. I told myself I was going to delete it when I was at the World Series game, and I’d said it a few times before that.
Now that we’d actually talked, I wondered what I was holding on to. Before, it had been this forbidden unknown that I never intended to open up. But I did open it up, and it didn’t lead to disaster. Not yet, at least. He’d talked to me over video, which was monumental in and of itself. Obviously, he’d never felt anything aside from the physical, whereas I...
Shit, I was pretty sure it had been more, like I’d told him. There was no chance in hell that I was ready to put that into words again.
As I thought about it, though, I realized I wasn’t lying when I told Travis that there was no deal. It wasn’t ever going to lead anywhere and I wasn’t holding on to it. I didn’t have feelings for Tilian; that much I knew. That door was closed. After having that conversation with him, I thought that it was something he’d needed too, just to finally let the past lie.
Where did I go from here? That was a good fucking question.
Roman:Hey
Travis:Hey back?
Roman:Where are you?
Travis:Grocery store. Want to know what I’m wearing too?
Tell him no. Tell him fucking no.
Roman:Sounds like you just want to brag about your fit. Fishing for compliments again?
Travis:I always catch something
Roman:You fish?
Travis:Would you be surprised?
Roman:No, actually. What about camping?
Travis:Camping is underrated af. Camping alone is iffy, though
Roman:You have Tessa
Travis:She doesn’t comfort me when an alligator (also known as a dinosaur) waddles toward me
Roman:Can’t promise I’ll do that either. I’m more likely to sacrifice you as a means to escape
