Page 60 of The Last Key
“I guess. Just worried.”
“Your dad’s tough. He’ll be okay.” He’s quiet for a second, then asks, “Do you want me to message Kennedy? She can’t answer her phone, but she’ll have Wi-Fi access, at least.”
“No, that’s okay. There’s nothing she can do on the plane, anyway.”
“And so she doesn’t deserve to know? To be able to support you?”
“How is she going to support me from there?”
He squints at me. “Are you pissed she left? Because you’ve been encouraging her to go.”
“I’m not pissed that she left. I would never want to stand in the way of her dreams.”
His brows pinch together. “But you want to stay in Brighton?” I nod slowly. “Because of your parents? Because youknow there’s nothingyoucould’ve done, right? You being here can’t change or prevent things like this from happening. Don’t use this as your excuse not to leave.”
“I know,” I huff. “Believe me, I know. I wish I could change it, but I can’t. Of course I want to be here to support my parents in moments like this, but that’s not why I don’t want to leave. Until recently, I thought it was, but I think I was using it as an excuse. I’m actually… happy here. I didn’t think I would be. That probably doesn’t make any sense since I grew up here.”
“No,” he says gently, “I get it. I left New York to move home first, remember? Thing is, I feel more at home there than I did in Chicago or Manhattan, but I still feel like I’m trying to find my place. Or maybe the right person. I don’t know. If you feel at home here, that’s a big thing. I get it.”
“I never thought I’d end up feeling like this. Like this is where I want to build my future. The only thing that’s been missing is Kennedy.”
“I’m guessing you haven’t told her this?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because her career is important.”
“And what you want isn’t?” He stares at me for a moment, like he’s figuring out some complex math problem.
“What?” I grit out.
“I’m trying to figure out if you’ve always been like this, or if it started when you moved back here.”
“Been like what?”
“Someone who sacrifices their wants and needs for everyone else.”
I scoff. “That’s not what I do.”
“Let’s check the score. How many years did you put your feelings for Kennedy away simply because you didn’t want to push her? When your parents called and asked for help, you didn’t fly home for a few weeks, you packed all your shit and moved to the opposite side of the country even though you’d just gotten a killernew job. And now, when you’re settled and enjoying life in Brighton, you’re going to pack up and move to the other side of the countryagainwithout a second thought if Kennedy gets this job. Scoreboard says: self-sacrifice.”
Fuck him for being right.
But he’s not done. “Jesus, that’s the same reason you aren’t calling Kennedy now, isn’t it? Man, you’re an idiot.”
“Thanks for that.”
“I’m serious. You’re trying to protect Kennedy, not upset her, let her have this job—whatever. Have you ever stopped and thought that she deserves to know what happened with your dad this morning? Because she cares about your parents. She cares about you. Do you think it would make her happy to know you’d move across the country even though you don’t want to? That’s not how real, healthy relationships work.”
“I don’t want to ruin things. Yes, we’ve loved each other for a long time, but we only just got together. This is a big thing.”
“Right. So, talking about it is absolutelynotthe answer.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “I’ve narrated enough romances to know that not talking about shit is a much faster way to ruin things than talking about the hard stuff. You and Kennedy have a strong relationship because it’s rooted in your friendship. She deserves to know how you feel and you deserve to have what you want in life, too. And I promise you, taking all choices away from her by just going along with things and not telling her the truth is not how you’re going to get that.”
I stare at him, frustration and anger rumbling in my stomach. I wish I could be mad at him, but damn it, he’s so fucking right it hurts.
“I’ll talk to her,” I say finally.
