Page 84 of Mating With My Grumpy Alphas
"Much better," I managed, reaching for him without conscious thought.
He caught my hands gently, bringing them to his lips. "Tell me what you need," he said. "Don't think about what you should want or what seems normal. Just tell me what your body is asking for."
The permission to be honest about my needs, to voice desires without shame or judgment, was almost as arousing as his touch. No one had ever asked what I wanted before. Had never cared about my experience beyond how it served his own pleasure.
"I need skin," I said, the words tumbling out. "I need to feel you, smell you, taste you. I need to know you're real."
"I'm real," he assured me, guiding my hands to his chest. "Touch me. Take whatever you need."
I explored him with trembling fingers, tracing the lean muscles of his chest, the vulnerable hollow of his throat, the strong line of his shoulders. His skin was warm and smooth and carried his scent more intensely than anything else. Herbs and healing oils and something uniquely him that made my omega instincts purr with recognition.
"You smell like safety," I told him, pressing my face against his neck and breathing deeply.
"You smell like heaven," he replied, his hands moving to the hem of my sleep shirt. "Can I?"
I nodded, lifting my arms so he could remove the soft cotton. The air against my overheated skin was both relief and torment, and when he looked at me with reverent appreciation, I felt beautiful instead of exposed.
He was being gentle with me. Holding back his natural dominance that I’d gotten a glimpse of last time. And I quite possibly loved him even more for it.
"Perfect," he murmured, his hands skimming lightly over my ribs, my waist, the curve of my hips. "You're absolutely perfect."
The worship in his voice made my chest tight with emotion. This was how claiming should feel. Like being treasured rather than taken.
He took his time exploring my body, his healer's hands reading my responses like text. When I gasped at his touch, he lingered. When I arched into his caress, he deepened the pressure. When I whimpered with need, he soothed me with gentle words and softer kisses.
"Tell me about bonding," I said as he mapped the sensitive spots along my neck with his mouth. "Tell me what to expect."
"Physical connection first," he said between kisses. "Knotting, when your body's ready for it. Then the bite, at the moment of climax. The bond forms during that peak intensity."
This was something I’d never done before. I’d never accepted a bond, let alone wanted one and looking back now I could see that Sterling had never pushed for it because it meant he could throw me away whenever it became convenient for him. And thank god he did. Because now I was exactly where I was supposed to be, with the exact alphas who were made for me.
"Will it hurt?" I asked, though I wasn't afraid. Not with him.
"No more than you want it to," he promised. "Pain and pleasure can blend during heat, but I'll be careful. I'll make sure it's good for you."
The reassurance helped quiet the small part of my mind that was still capable of anxiety. Everything else was consumed by the growing need that seemed to intensify with every passing moment.
"Elias," I said, his name a plea.
"I know, sweetheart," he said gently. "Let me take care of everything."
He moved between my legs, settling his weight carefully so I felt supported rather than trapped. The heat of him against my most sensitive places was almost overwhelming, and I made a desperate sound that seemed to come from somewhere deep in my chest.
"That's it," he encouraged. "Let me hear you. Let me know what you need."
What I needed was him. All of him. The careful preparation he was providing was wonderful, but my body was demanding completion with an urgency that was rapidly becoming painful.
"Please," I said again, the word barely coherent.
"Are you ready for me?" he asked, his voice strained with the effort of maintaining control. “Are you ready to become my omega?”
I could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to hold back on his need to dominate. To take control and guide me exactly how he wanted. It wasn’t a repressive dominance when it came to Elias. It was safety, it was reassurance, it was caring. But right now, in the most important moment that we’d ever experience together, he was holding himself back to make sure that he had my full wholehearted consent. Because that was what being a true alpha was like.
"Yes," I gasped. "Yes, please, I need you."
He entered me slowly, carefully, giving my body time to adjust despite the urgency of my need. The sensation was incredible, like coming home and flying apart at the same time. Every nerve ending sang with recognition and relief and the rightness of finally being connected to him. Even the sting of him stretching me wide set my blood on fire.
"Breathe," he reminded me when I forgot how, his forehead pressed against mine. "Just breathe, sweetheart."
