Page 61 of Saddles and Snowstorms
Brooks tensed slightly beside me. “What?”
“Stay,” I repeated, propping myself up on one elbow to look at him properly. “Stay with me for the night.”
He looked suddenly uncomfortable. “I… I don’t know, Rowan. My truck is outside. People’ll talk.”
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I… I understand. If you need to go, then you should.”
He didn’t reply, his fingers still trailing over my hip in the most delicious way.
“I want to stay with you,” he said a full minute later, his eyes finding mine even in the dark. “I wanna wake up beside you… know what that feels like. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, Rowan. I want to do everything with you.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “You better be careful, Brooks,” I said softly. “Words like that might make a boy fall in love with you.”
He froze for a moment, his hand tense against my skin. Finally, he leaned forward, kissing my shoulder. “I should go,” he said.
There was no hint of fear in his words, but it disappointed me just the same. Then again, I knew saying the “L” word was a lot to throw athim all at once. The man wasn’t even ready to spend the night with me yet and there I was telling him I was falling for him.
I watched as he got out of the bed and got dressed, pulling his shirt and jeans over his cum-caked skin. It didn’t seem to bother him at all. He slipped on his boots and grabbed his hat from the floor before he walked over to me. With one strong hand wrapped around my cheek, he pulled me toward him, kissing me deeply.
“Same time tomorrow, beautiful?”
My disappointment lessened with his compliment. “Sure. I’d like that.”
“Me too.”
He kissed me again and headed for the door. He stopped only for a moment in the doorframe of my bedroom, his form outlined against the soft light coming from the kitchen.
“I like you a lot, Rowan,” he said, looking back at me. “I just… I need time.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“Goodnight, beautiful.”
He slipped his hat back on, tipped it in my direction, and he was gone. I laid there, listening to the sound of his truck start up outside and pull out onto the road, the sound disappearing into the night.
I sat there alone in my bed, still covered in the evidence of our passion. The bed felt emptier than ever, and even though I understood Brooks needed time, my heart felt heavy. I wanted him there with me for more than just sex. I wanted to feel him beside me when I woke up, make coffee with him, see that sleepy look in his eyes just like I had during the snowstorm. I missed that Brooks, the one who was so confident in our solitude.
I just hoped I could be patient while he learned to move outside his comfort zone. It was the least I could do. But why did it have to be so hard?
Chapter 22
Brooks
It had been a full week of sneaking into Rowan’s apartment every night after the rest of Sagebrush went to sleep. Each night I found him wrapped up in my arms, unable to stop myself from touching him, from kissing him, and from giving him all the pleasure I could muster. Afterward I stayed as long as I dared, pushing the envelope further and further each night. But I never stayed the whole night. The idea of the entire town seeing my truck parked out front of the clinic in the morning filled my heart with dread. I wasn’t ready for everyone to know. Not yet.
It wasn’t that I wanted to hide Rowan or hide how I felt about him. Those feelings were getting easier to accept. But I wasn’t ready for everyone to know just yet. Strangers meant questions, assumptions, and expectations that felt stifling just to think about. If anyone found out, the entire town would know in a day or two. Then I’d have to deal with their stares and their questions for the rest of time. Even if Rowan and I stopped being together, the rumors would follow me forever. The thought of it made my skin crawl.
And it made me angry too. The entire town of Sagebrush was silent when my parents died. They were silent again when Joe died too. I had no friends, nobody to lean on during the hardest times of my life. So, to be honest, I didn’t feel like I owed them anything,especially not a front-row seat to my private life. Dolly was the only person in town I really trusted before Rowan came along and that was just fine. I didn’t need or want anyone else. Besides, once I was no longer interesting, they’d all leave me behind again. It just wasn’t worth getting involved.
Still, even after a full week of those thoughts running through my head, I couldn’t help hopping in my truck as soon as evening chores were done. I turned the engine over and headed toward town, intent on surprising Rowan just after closing. I wanted to spend a little more time with him tonight, just him and I. It was becoming painfully obvious how much I was starting to feel like I couldn’t live without him. Despite how much it terrified me, the call of my heart was too strong to resist. I had to be near him. He was quickly becoming as important as the air in my lungs.
The streets of Sagebrush were quiet as I drove through town, the setting sun painting everything in shades of amber and gold. A few locals waved as I passed, and I returned the gesture automatically, my mind already at the clinic where Rowan would be finishing up for the day.
I parked my truck a block away—still cautious despite myself—and walked the rest of the distance. Through the clinic windows, I could see Rowan moving about inside, his tall frame graceful as he wiped down counters and reorganized supplies. My heart quickened at the sight of him, and I felt a smile spread across my face before I could stop it.
When I knocked on the glass door, Rowan looked up, surprise flashing across his features before his mouth curved into that slow, devastating smile that never failed to make my knees weak. He strode to the door, unlocking it with a click.
“Brooks,” he said, his voice warm and low. “Didn’t expect to see you until later.”
