Page 70 of Tango
“You made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t be happy until Dylan is?”
“Yes.”
I know I need to choose my words carefully, that if I don’t, I risk pushing Tucker away. “Does Dylan know?”
“No one does. Just like no one outside of our family knows what I just told you about Dylan.”
I can read between the lines: I trust you. Don’t let me down.
“I won’t say anything,” I tell him.
“Thanks.” He shoves his hands into his pockets.
“But just for the record—I think not choosing happiness for yourself would only further torture Dylan.”
“He’s my twin. And I can’t abandon him.”
“You think choosing happy would mean abandoning him?”
Tucker steps away. “Look, I’m a ‘give it my all’ kind of person. Work? I throw everything I have into it. Same thing with the ranch. But if I were to get into a relationship, then?—”
“You’d give it your all, and you worry Dylan will feel alone.”
Tucker shakes his head. “Every other one of our brothers is married.”
“Lani’s not.”
“He’s my twin. I need to be there for him. I should have been there for him.”
“Tucker.” I squeeze his hand. “Given the army’s policy on not allowing siblings into the same unit together, my guess is there was no option for you to have been there.”
“They waited four months before telling us he was dead.”
“What?” I ask, absolutely horrified.
“He was tortured for four months before any of us even knew he was missing.” He shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head. “Look, I’m not trying to make this about him. The fact is I am enthralled by you, but I can’t—I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m the one who started it, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” I release his hand, not at all offended because I know his struggle has nothing to do with me. “It was a great kiss. Even if a relationship doesn’t come out of it, a memory certainly will. Me getting kissed by the handsome and elusive Tucker Hunt beneath a blanket of stars.” I press my hands to my heart. “Put me in a black-and-white movie and watch me swoon.”
Tucker’s expression lightens just a bit. Which is exactly what I was going for. “You’re not angry with me?”
“Why would I be?”
“I made a move on you, then told you—quite literally in the same breath—that I can’t do a relationship.”
I shrug. “You said you can’t be in one until Dylan’s happy. So the way I see it, I just need to find what makes him happy. Then we can see what this really is.” I gesture between us.
Tucker grins. “That easy, huh?”
“That easy.” I stretch up on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. “Seriously, though, Tucker, great kiss. And I’m not mad.” It’s hard to hide pain from someone as observant as Tucker, but I manage. The truth is, I am hurt.
Hurt that he’s struggling so much.
And hurt that there’s nothing I can do about the rejection I feel even as I know it’s not about me.
The cell phone beside me buzzes, so I answer it just as Tucker instructed me to do before handing over the position of group sentry and grabbing some sleep. “Hello?”
“Where’s Tucker?” Dylan asks over the phone.
