Page 1 of Coup De Grâce
1
EVA
I stared at the casket,pissed as hell that I was at my husband’s funeral. It had been too long since I felt his arms around me, since he had looked at me with love in his eyes. Anger and torment had taken over his life, twisting him into the cruel, self-loathing man that I had last seen when he walked out on his life.
Now, all I was left with were the memories.
I squeezed my eyes closed and prayed for this all to be over. I was so fucking tired, and I was hanging on by a thread. If I didn’t find peace soon, I might fall apart. And I couldn’t afford to do that, not when I had kids depending on me.
I took a steadying breath and opened my eyes just as a commotion to the right drew my attention. I rolled my eyes as Kavanaugh and Red broke out in a fight, swinging at each other like they were in a street fight. It was ridiculous. Both of them were better fighters than this. Right now, they looked like they were back in high school.
Eli and Lock tried to step in, but there was no stopping them as their momentum flung them straight into the casket, toppling it over. Gasping, I covered my mouth as the beautifulwooden box toppled over and my husband’s body came tumbling out.
Every memory I had of my husband played on a reel in my head, reminding me of the day I first met him, the intense look in his eyes when he promised to always protect me, and the first time we made love.
A squeak of desperation traveled up my throat and escaped my lips before I could stop it. Turning, I fled from the scene as desperation for my husband clawed at my chest. I couldn’t be here. I couldn’t watch the scene unfold or try to focus on the good times. I was so over this mess, and right now, the only thing that would calm me down was solitude.
My eyes grew heavy the longer I sat at the table with a glass of wine in my hand, remembering my husband’s funeral. I wished I could get drunk right now, just have a night with no responsibilities. But that wouldn’t happen, not when I was the sole parent and no backup in sight.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I could ask anyone on the property to help out, and they would in an instant. But since one parent had already checked out, I just couldn’t bring myself to flake on them too.
Draining the last of my wine, I shoved out of my seat, refusing to sit and wallow in pity. I went through the motions of cleaning the kitchen as I did every night, then walked around the house, turning off lights and checking the locks on the doors.
Before I went upstairs to check on the kids, I glanced around the darkness that filled the downstairs. This house felt so empty. Even with all the love that filled the house daily, there was no replacing the presence of my husband, and there never would be.
Gripping the banister, I forced myself up the stairs, peeking first into Benjamin’s room, and then went to check on Eloise. She was too young to even remember her father. When hewalked out, she was still a toddler. All those memories of her dad were long gone by now. When he first left, they both cried for their daddy.
Benjamin took it the hardest, wondering why his daddy wasn’t here to play with him and tell him stories at night. I knew Eloise missed his warm cuddles and the way he wrapped his arms around her protectively when she was hurt or scared. As I brushed a tuft of curly hair back on her little head, I wondered if she remembered anything about him now.
I shook off the thought and checked the baby monitor before returning downstairs. I was exhausted, but I knew sleep would not come easily for me. It never did anymore. I felt like I was on the run for my life again, constantly looking over my shoulder. Except, now I was fully protected, but missing a large piece of myself that I knew would never heal properly.
I glanced at the closet, biting my lip as I considered what I was about to do. I really shouldn’t look. Every time I opened that door and dug through the trunk shoved against the closet wall, I spent way too much time obsessing over the contents.
But it was the only thing giving me hope.
I could do it just this one time this week, and then I would lock the trunk and refuse to look again. Would that really be so bad? To have that reassurance to help me sleep?
Decision made, I flung the closet door open and pushed aside everything that blocked the trunk. It stared at me, mocking me from inside. My fingers itched with need as my heart rate kicked up. I was going to find out. Snatching the trunk, I dragged it forward and quickly set the dial on the lock before yanking it open. Taking a deep breath, I opened the trunk.
I stared down at my husband, barely alive and entirely too skinny. What had they done to him? Tears pricked my eyes as I listened to the heart monitor beating in rhythm, telling me he was still alive and doing well.
But his body said differently. He might be alive, but what he had been through…
The door opened and a dark presence filled the room, sending shivers down my spine. He shouldn’t be here. That’s what the voice in my head repeated, but I couldn’t bring myself to kick him out. I needed something from him, and he wasn’t leaving until the job was done.
“Eva—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Rafe.”
I couldn’t stomach looking at him—not after what I had done to him, thinking he was Cash. The wound was still too fresh. But I just got him back and I wasn’t wasting a moment.
“Did you bring it?”
“Yes, but?—”
“Do it.”
He approached slowly, probably understanding that he disgusted me. “Eva, are you sure you want to do this?”
