Page 15 of Coup De Grâce
I knew she was trying to help, but honestly, I had no desire to hang out with women right now. Izzy had a level of understanding that none of the other women did. She understood the desire for solitude despite feeling isolated from everyone. She got that I didn’t want to talk things out and complain.
Sometimes, you just needed a friend who understood sitting beside you on the couch as you wallowed in your filthy misery.
“Thanks, but I’m just not up for it.”
“Tell me about him.”
The question knocked me off my axis for a moment. Talk about Cash? Could I really do that without breaking down? But before I could decide, I found myself spilling every detail about him.
“He’s kind and strong. Protective as hell, but willing to give me space when I need it. When I met him, he was so patient with me. I mean, when he realized I wasn’t working with terrorists.”
I grinned at her shocked look. “He really thought you were working with terrorists?”
I nodded, laughing as I remembered Fox’s form of interrogation. “I spent the day with Fox, watching movies.”
She looked at me, rolling her eyes. “Musicals?”
“Yeah.”
“And this was on his creepy movie bed?”
I shook my head, smiling at the memory. “No, at the time, they were still based in California. But it wasn’t really any different than what you’re imagining. I was comfortable with Fox before Cash.”
Her nose wrinkled in confusion. “How is that even possible?”
“Fox has a way about him. I was attracted to Cash, but Fox put me at ease with his happy personality and love of musicals.”
We both looked at each other and broke out into laughter. “And Funyuns.”
“But Cash…it was like he couldn’t decide whether or not to be nice to me. Until he did, and then he saved my life. He never stopped fighting for me, and he even relocated his company out here to keep us hidden.”
I swallowed at the memory. “To keepmehidden.”
“He really did love you.”
Did. I had to remember that to everyone else, Cash was dead. To me, he was still alive in my heart, even if I couldn’t see him.
“He’s truly an amazing man.”
I could see the hesitation in her eyes as she dropped them to my left hand, staring at my rings. “Eva…after all the things he’s done…”
“I know what you’re thinking, but I need you to trust me when I tell you that Cash is still very much the man I married.”
She sighed in frustration. “Eva, you keep sayingis. But he’s not here anymore. He’s gone, and I think talking about him as if he was still alive is only making this harder on you.”
I nearly laughed at her statement. How little she knew. Talking about him like that was the only thing keeping me going. I was strong because Cash made me this way. I held it together because I had faith he would return to me. I talked about him like he was still alive because even though I didn’t check his tracking every day, I had to believe that he was still out there fighting to get home to me.
“I’m fine,” I reassured her. “I have no delusions about what’s going on here.”
“Are you sure? Eva, I’ve been there. I just?—”
“I’m not about to snap,” I said a little too harshly. “Look, I know what you all think. Trust me, I’m well aware of what’s going on.”
That was all I could say to keep from telling her that he really was alive and I had proof. Until Cash chose to make himself known, I had to keep his secret, even if it meant that everyone else thought I was crazy.
Thankfully, Izzy dropped the subject and plastered a smile on her face. “So, what can I do to help?”
“Would you mind sticking around while I grab a shower? Normally, I wouldn’t worry about it, but Eloise is being particularly feisty this morning.”
