Page 87 of Coup De Grâce
I held the bag out to him, but he just snarled in response. It was quite rude.
“You know, you could just say you don’t want one.”
“Why would I want a Funyun?” he snarled.
Frowning, I stared down into the bag. “Well, they’re tasty. There’s really nothing else like them out there. And I always find that working on an empty stomach is a bad thing. Now, I’ve never been in your position, other than the few times I’ve tested my own experiments, but I would assume that some comfort food right now would be a happy experience.”
I held the bag out to him, then laughed when I realized he couldn’t reach into the bag while his hands were bound. “I’m sorry. How inconsiderate of me. Let me get that for you.”
I snatched one of my precious Funyuns from the bag and held it out to him, but he refused to open his mouth. That was just rude. I started pressing it against his lips until he finally yielded and popped his mouth open. But the moment it touched his tongue, he spat it out.
Now I saw red.
“You know, I came in here with the intention of making this a fun time for all. And instead, you spit out my proffered treats. How is that being respectful?”
“Go fuck yourself,” he snapped.
I rolled my eyes in disgust. Man, this guy was just full of piss and vinegar today. “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
“I woke up with a psychopath in my bed! How did you even get in?”
“Well, it all had to do with my dashing good looks and charming personality. The ladies just can’t deny me.”
“I’ll fucking kill you,” he snapped.
I tried to keep a straight face. I really did, but this man was just too funny. “Okay,” I mocked. “Now, I think since this isn’t going according to plan, we should just move things along. What’s your name?”
“Go fuck yourself!”
Such a typical response. “I see you’re going to attempt to play hardball. It’s admirable. I admit it. I really do appreciate what you’re doing, but your friends aren’t going to care because I’m going to kill them as well.”
“What friends?” he barked out a laugh.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I not tell you what I was after? How thoughtless of me,” I grinned. “Your shadow friends. I mean, Iwould have gone for a cooler name. You know, something that really sparks fear in my enemy’s eyes. You know, get them right in the heart. Like…The Funyun Phantom.”
I grinned at the title. It really was perfection. “It combines two of my favorite things. Funyuns and musicals. Granted, it would be great if I could somehow work in shawarma, but The Funyuns-Shawarma Phantom would probably be overkill.
“And while I really do love so many different musicals, the Phantom really represents something inside me that I just can’t shake. And I don’t think calling myself a Jet would be correct either. I am cool and I am crazy, but it’s not as terrifying—if you know what I mean.”
When he didn’t answer, I continued. “You know, I was actually coming up with an idea for my own musical. I based it on my life. I thought I would start it off with a young child witnessing a murder. That would really bring out the darkness, just as I planned. And it would be about this man and his love for Funyuns. Of course, I would have to change a few of the details. Maybe the main character would have black hair instead of my dirty blonde hair. Ooh, and I bet I could change his name. Fox is such a cool name, but I don’t want to give away the story, you know? Maybe I could go with Hound or … You know, I can work that out later.”
I hadn’t realized I was pacing until I stopped and wondered why he wasn’t getting into my fantastic new musical.
“Do you not like the idea?”
His eyes twitched in anger, but he said nothing. Clearly, this man was not a friend of the theater.
“Well, since you’re so unenthusiastic about my ideas, I guess the torture shall commence. But first, I would like to know who I’m dealing with.”
I strode toward him and grabbed his wallet from his trousers, grinning when he let out a muffled groan. “Oh, relax. I don’t swing that way.”
I flipped his wallet open and studied his license. “Very interesting. You know, this picture really doesn’t do you justice. And those plugs really haven’t grown in well. Maybe consider a good rug. I’m just saying, if you want to be convincing.”
The man scowled at me, but didn’t say a word. He was really sticking by this whole not-talking thing. I pulled out my phone and dialed Rae, ready to get to work.
“Fox, what did you find?”
“A man by the name of Arthur Brennan. I’ll send you a photo.”
