Page 55 of Coup De Grâce
“So, Bree’s pregnant?”
“Yeah. Pretty much. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he bent over, sucking in a breath. Hands on his knees, he looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown instead of a man in command of his family.
I slapped him on the back, rubbing circles in a soothing pattern, hoping I could calm my friend. “It could be worse.”
“Three kids? Cash, I’m not cut out for three of them. They run all over me as it is. I order them around. I use an iron fist, and they mock me. Fucking mock me!” he nearly shouted.
The man looked like he was on the verge of being crazed. I gripped his shoulder, forcing him to look at me. “Hey, you can’t let them get away with that shit.”
“I’m trying!” he shouted, his eyes bugging out as his left eye twitched. The man was going to lose his shit and have a stroke if he didn’t pull it together.
“Hey, listen to me. They’re just kids. They can’t do anything to you.”
The man scoffed in my face, tossing his head back and laughing maniacally. Seriously, if I didn’t know he was a strong warrior, I would assume Thumper was just another guy on the streets.
“Can’t do anything to me? They make fun of my leg all the time. They call me the fucking Terminator!”
“Yeah, and?” Wasn’t that a compliment?
“And they mock me all the time. I tell them not to do something, and they give me the stink eye before running off and doing just that. I swear, these are not normal kids. These are wild hellions. And I don’t get it because Bree is so normal and well-adjusted!”
“Yeah, but then there’s you.”
He stilled, cocking his head at me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that this has nothing to do with Bree and everything to do with you. If you want someone to blame for your kids being hellions, you only have to look at yourself.”
His eyes went wide before he shook his head at me in disbelief. “Victim-blaming? Seriously, Cash. I thought you were better than this.”
I slapped him hard upside the head, tired of this shit. “Take your dick out of the bodysuit for a goddamn minute and remember who the fuck you are. You are the fucking Terminator. You have a bionic leg and run circles around the average man, and half our teams. You defy the odds all the fucking time. So stop letting your kids rule the world. Grow a goddamn spine and tell them who’s in charge!”
That finally seemed to get through to him and he blew out a harsh breath, nodding quickly. “Right. I’m in charge.”
“A little more conviction in your voice and someone might actually fucking believe you.”
He huffed out a laugh as he looked down at his deflated boob and the torn dress. “Fuck, I look like an idiot.”
“I can’t believe you wore that just to get away from Bree. You’re fucking insane,” I chuckled.
Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, he groaned. “Oh God. What have I done?”
“Don’t worry. We’ve all done insane things to get away from our spouses. I mean, not me, but?—”
“Yeah, you just joined a fucking cult to escape her.”
“They’re not a cult,” I muttered. “And I was only trying to escape her to protect her.”
“Yeah, great job there. You know, you didn’t marry some idiot. She’s a lot smarter than you think.”
I knew that, and the fact that she never believed me and was tracking me the whole fucking time brought a smile to my face as pride beamed in my chest. My wife was fucking smart as hell,and I couldn’t wait to get back to her and tell her just how much I fucking loved her.
“Hey!” FNG grinned, waving at us. “We’ve got a ride!”
“Come on, Betty. Let’s kick our feet up for a little bit.”
“Betty? I hardly look like a Betty.”
“You’re right,” I grinned. “Betty doesn’t have saggy tits.”
