Page 69 of Inglorious
“Inglorious.”
“What, babe?”
“Look.” My voice came out strangled, and Inglorious strode over, concerned. He glanced down and stiffened as he saw what I had. Two letters. One addressed to him; the other, me.
“Shit.”
“Seth wrote to us?” I asked, suddenly tearful.
“Yeah.” Inglorious picked them up and handed me mine. Guilt washed over his face as he gazed at the envelope.
“Go on. I want to hear what he said,” I urged, and Inglorious slowly tore open the letter. He read it through, and tears welled in his eyes as he swallowed hard.
I held mine loosely, although I wanted to grip it tight, but that would crush it.
“Inglorious?” I whispered.
Inglorious coughed to clear his throat.
“Brother, if you’re reading this, I died. Whoop-de-fuckin-doo. There’s no way I’d ever say this shit to your face, and I reckon you need to know it. First up, this wasn’t your fault. Fury and those assholes were coming for us. The club had a target on its back, and we all knew it. And we aren’t the type of cowards to run and hide. Even if you’d given the orders to disappear, I would have stayed and fought. That’s who I am.
“Stop the self-blame, because I bet you’re putting yourself through it. You and I were brothers from the moment we met as kids, and not a thing changed that. I love you, man, and we had a good run. I’d have liked to grow old and see the club pass to a younger generation, but it wasn’t to be. Understand this, I’d change nothing about my life. I lived, drank, fucked, and was happy. I haven’t got any regrets, and you shouldn’t have either. None of us were walking away from this fight.
“Now I have something you need to do. Claim Nanci. You think I don’t know what happened between you and her. You’re wrong. Nanci loved you, and I believe she could again if you try. You kept her secret and my honour by not making a move on her, but you and she are soulmates. Find Nanci, bring her back, and while this is a fuckin’ nasty thought, keep her pregnant and happy.
“Brother, you’ve got my blessing, both of you. Live, Inglorious, because I can’t. You owe it to me to have shitloads of kids, go grey, get a beer belly, and grow old with my sister atyour side. Don’t doubt the love I have for you, man, and don’t live in guilt; there isn’t any to be had.
Over and out,
Psych.”
Inglorious stopped talking, and tears streamed down his cheeks. I stood up, and we clung to each other as we mourned Seth’s loss. Inglorious stepped back after a few moments and wiped away our tears.
“Read yours,” he ordered.
I opened it.
“Fanci Nanci, I wanted to throttle those kids when they called you that. That was my privilege of being a big brother. It was the best role of my life and one I’ll never regret. The honour of watching you grow, become your own person, despite our upbringing. Baby sister, being one of the strongest people I know, I’m so damn proud of you. You’re amazing. Never forget that.
“I understand why you fled all those years ago and why you never came back. Roman was right to deny you back then. You had a life ahead of you, and you deserved to live your dreams. I don’t doubt that, being the woman you are, you’ll blame Roman for my death.
“Nanci, he didn’t force me or any of them to stand up for what’s right. We couldn’t and wouldn’t walk away, not when thousands of innocent lives were at stake. And had this been your fight, you’d have done the same.
“Your time is now. Come home. Make amends with Roman and take a chance, and I bet you’ll be happy. You deserve happiness, and while I’ve no regrets you didn’t work out back then, you’ll be full of self-doubt if you miss your opportunity now. You and Roman are meant to be together. I feel that deepin my bones. Give me lots of nieces and nephews, and I’ll be watching from above.
“Nanci, don’t forget to live life to the full. Life is for the living, not the dead. Mourn me and remember me, but please don’t get fuckin’ bogged down in grief. Take care of Roman; he’ll need your strength and support, and let go of blame. Grow old with grandbabies around your feet. Name a kid after me.
“I love you, baby sister, and I wish we had more time together. But we don’t, and my story ends here. Yours doesn’t, but it might become stale if you don’t listen to me. Drag Roman back from whatever precipice he’s standing on, because he will be. I know him too damn well. Be happy, Nanci, in everything you do, and live for me because I’ll be watching over you.
Love ya sis,
Seth.”
“Oh God,” I muttered as the dam broke, and I sobbed. Inglorious wrapped me once more in his embrace as he sank to the ground, and I grieved my brother. This time, it seemed cathartic. And something loosened in my chest, and I felt the final piece of my anger disappear.
Seth had done exactly what he’d desired and defended the innocent. I was so damn proud of him for that, and he’d left me a goodbye. I wish I’d been able to say bye as well, but I had this, and Inglorious also had a farewell.
“Are you okay?” Inglorious asked as I wiped tears from my face.
