Page 5 of Inglorious
“Think I don’t know that, Nanci? That it doesn’t torture me? I stare at my hands, and all I see is blood. Nanci, I’m fuckin’ drowning in it. I close my eyes, and the faces of everybody who died are there. Hell, I’ll never stop seeing them. Those deaths will haunt me till the day I die.”
“They should Drake, it wasn’t anyone’s war but Rage’s.”
“Fury wouldn’t have stopped with us,” Drake stated, and I nodded.
“Oh, I know. He’d have come for everyone, which is why my brother and friends stood up and fought. But Rage failed, and innocents paid the price. I’m so angry at you and MCs right now, I don’t even want to be near you,” I said, the fight leaving me.
I could sling anger and guilt at Drake all day, but it wouldn’t bring Seth back. Nothing would. Seth was laid to rest in a cemetery I couldn’t visit because it was in Merritt, South Dakota. My brother lay in the graveyard there, alongside miners and gunslingers. Laid in the cold, hard ground surrounded by most of his club. Only three survived. Inglorious, Razor, and Chill.
“I didn’t come here to fight or throw blame,” Drake said. He suddenly looked old.
“Why then, Drake?”
“Inglorious is bad. Nanci, he wakes up, hits the bottle, and falls asleep hugging one. Chill’s not much better. And Razor… shit, Nanci, we believe he’s seriously sick. We’ve seen Razor in and out of the hospital. Razor won’t talk to anyone. We don’t know what’s wrong, but it’s a serious issue. He’s lost weight, is pale as a ghost, and has the shakes; he’s also vomiting a lot.”
“Chemo,” I muttered, and Drake nodded.
“That’s what we think. Razor isn’t saying shit, but he’s trying to hold what’s left of the club together. The four prospects are leaderless, and I ain’t too impressed by two.”
“Drake. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m female. And even if I had the desired balls and cock to join the Unwanted Bastards, my brother died there. I don’t want to be anywhere near Merritt. It hurts too much,” I whispered.
“Check the charter, Nanci.”
“I know the charter, Drake.”
“You will lose Inglorious if he carries on this way.”
Damn, Drake hit low. My feelings about Inglorious were all over the place. I blamed him for joining Drake and fighting. Inglorious was responsible for the entire club and led them into a fatal situation. But he was also the guy that yanked my ponytail and bunches and snuck me shit my parents most certainly did not approve of. Inglorious was Seth’s oldest friend and once had been a big part of my life. Fuck!
“Drake, I lost Inglorious many years ago. He’s not my concern.”
“Then whose is he? Do I need to seek out Rhea?”
“The fuck no! You leave that girl alone! I mean it, Drake, Rhea is off limits to everyone,” I hissed and rose to my feet. I placed my hands on my desk and glared at Drake.
“Don’t have a choice. It’s you or her, Nanci.”
“There’s a third option. Let Inglorious drink himself into an early grave, because that’s what he’s going to do. Walk in his shoes, Drake. Say you lost your club, what would you do? Your brothers, best friend, mentor, all gone. Dead. Blown to pieces. Now ask yourself if you want to live. I bet the answer is no.”
“Your brother deserves to be honoured better than this!”
“Seth should be alive and banging his way through the female population before settling down and making me an aunt! That’s what Seth should be doing. Don’t try to manipulate or guilt me, Drake. The entirety of my family died in that fucking war. Seth was all I had!” I yelled.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have come. Have a nice life, Nanci,” Drake said.
He left the room without another word. Fay stared at me through the doorway, her mouth open and a shocked expression on her face.
“Shut the door, Fay, I don’t want any further disturbances,” I ordered, and she nodded hurriedly.
Tired, I rested my head in my hands, and taking a few deep breaths, I straightened and picked up the document I’d been studying.
???
Two hours later, I gathered everything up and stacked it neatly. I couldn’t concentrate, and after reading an application five times and still not knowing what it said, I gave up. Slowly, I stood up and walked over to my window. I loved Vegas. The lights, the people, the excitement; it all appealed to me. This was the life I’d chosen, and I’d been happy until Seth died.
If I were honest, Seth’s death opened my eyes. He had been taken while childless and single. My funny, wonderful, loving brother, who had so much to offer, hadn’t left a legacy. Apart from me and the last three members of the Unwanted Bastards, nobody really mourned Seth. People were shocked and horrified that so many had perished, but truly grieving Seth… only four of us.
Not even my parents bothered. They’d not attended his funeral. All Unwanted Bastards’ allies had, and plenty of strangers, but not them. Hell, I’d not spoken to them either. The police had informed them of Seth’s death. I’d refused to. Antonio Ramirez had given them the notification. Ramirez, being a decent sort, had refused at first to tell me what they’d said.
