Page 92 of Rulebreaker
He trembles.
I flick up my brows yet again. “Is there a reason you’re still standing there?”
He shakes his head jerkily and, when I don’t back up, plasters himself against the wall and slowly slides out. Once free, he all but sprints from the room.
I follow, make sure that he goes, that the door is closed and locked behind him.
“You need to go too, sir,” the housekeeper says.
I open my mouth to tell her there’s no fucking way I’m going, but before I get anything out, I hear, “It’s okay, Dora.”
Turning, I see Lily in the hall
Still pale. Still exhausted.
Still hurting.
Right. I need to fix that.
I stride over to her, taking her hand, some of the sharp, wounding worry inside me easing when she lets me, when shedoesn’t fight me drawing her back into the sitting room, gently nudging her down onto the couch.
I crouch down next to her. “First,” I say, still holding her hand, but now squeezing it lightly, bringing her eyes back to mine, “I need to apologize.”
Her chest rises and falls on a deep breath. “Yes,” she says quietly, slipping her fingers from mine. “You do.”
My gut twists, but I don’t let that distract me. “I’m sorry, Texas,” I say. “So incredibly sorry.” I let that sit in the air, wanting her to know I mean it, that it comes without strings. And then, when her eyes drift back to mine, I ask, “Can I explain why I reacted that way? Not to excuse it,” I add when hurt slides through her expression. “Just…explain.”
She goes still, gaze on mine, and I hold my breath for a long moment.
Then, thank fuck, she nods.
“The only people who’ve never let me down in my life are Banks, Royal, and Dash.”
“Not Colt?”
“Colt didn’t tell anyone he reenlisted, and then he was killed and he left Dash, leftusnot just with the guilt of being alive when he wasn’t, but also with the knowledge of all that we were going to miss out on—no more Christmases together, no more birthdays or nights out partying. He never got to see Banks play an NHL game in person, never saw Royal play to a sold-out stadium with one hundred thousand screaming fans. He didn’t get to be a partner in the successful security business he and Dash planned to start, didn’t get to experience it grow into the powerhouse it is today. Hell, he never even experienced a Sunday Dinner.”
“And he didn’t see you grow your business into what it is today,” she says softly.
“No.” I exhale. “He missed out on all that, and that’s probably the worst of all.”
“Atlas.”
I touch her hand, acknowledging the sympathy in her voice, but needing her to know the rest, to know all of it. “So there was one of my best friends not being the man I thought he was…” I take a breath because the next part is harder. “And I told you a bit about my mom, about how she gave me up and I spent half my life in foster care?—”
She nods again when I pause.
“What you don’t know—” I grind my teeth together, throat growing tight. “Fuck,” I mutter, “why is this hard?” I close my eyes, exhale, and…
Her fingers find mine again.
And suddenly the words slide free.
“What you don’t know is that she showed back up in my life a couple of years ago.”
Lily’s fingers tighten around mine.
“I thought—” I shake my head and open my eyes, laughing humorlessly. “It doesn’t really matter what I thought. She wasn’t there to be a supportive parent, to explain what happened and make amends, to build a relationship, maybe not as mother-son, but something that could become meaningful and fulfilling.”
