Page 60 of Rulebreaker
I sigh happily.
Two orgasmsand a lot of kissing later, we’re racing across town toward the airport. I’m beyond sated, my mind and body completely relaxed. I know I have to talk to him about Stan but there’s no time since we’re running late and it’s not the kind of conversation I can just throw at him.
“When will I see you again?” I ask.
“Whenever you want.”
“I’m being serious, Atlas. As much as I appreciate the hoops you’ve jumped through to spend time with me, I’m heading east and it’s going to get complicated.”
“I know.” Our fingers are twined between us and he squeezes my hand more tightly. “I have to look at my calendar. There are things Briar can handle for me, and things I can postpone, but there are also a few board meetings I can’t miss. And I want to make sure Banks and Aspen have everything they need as they adjust to the new baby.”
Sometimes I wish he didn’t have such an obligation to his family. I know that’s selfish, and I love spending time with them too–just not at the expense of us having quality time together.
“I wish…” I let my voice trail because it’s hard to explain what I’m feeling.
“You wish?” He pauses, glancing over at me. “You can tell me anything, Lily.”
I sigh softly, chewing the inside of my cheek. “I wish we’d met a year from now.”
“Bite your tongue,” he responds, shaking his head. “That would be another whole year without you.”
“But you wouldn’tknowyou were without me,” I protest with a soft laugh.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I’m contractually obligated to be in a hundred different cities over the next year,” I say. “I can’t just cancel the tour.”
“I’ve never asked you to.”
“I know. It just makes everything complicated. And we’re so new.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“What? No! It just feels like whenever we’re together there’s no time to talk…relax, figure out who we are together. Does that make sense? We’re both so desperate to get physical, and by the time we get our fill, we have personal and professional obligations yanking us in different directions. I am absolutely on board for all the touching we can fit in, but if this is going to be more than sex, then there have to be extended periods of non-sexual time too. Time for us to be a couple.”
He’s quiet for a beat too long, and right when I begin to wonder if I’ve made things awkward, he responds. “I’m going to meet with Briar and find a week where we can clear my schedule. And then I’m coming to you, wherever you are. Even if we have to travel each day, we’ll spend an entire week together. And I promise to keep the sexy times to a minimum. How does that sound?”
Like I’m falling in love.
And like that will be the perfect time to tell him about Stan.
“I love it,” I gush, shoving down the guilt. I only have a few minutes left with Atlas–this isn’t the right time for confessions or deep conversations. “But not the part about minimal sexy times–I wantallthe sexy times, buddy. I just want other times too.”
“And I will make that happen.” He slows to a stop and puts the car in park.
“I have to go,” I whisper sadly.
“It’s okay. I’ll come to you soon. I promise.” One handsnakes out and he wraps it around the back of my neck, pulling me to him. Our lips move together easily, sweetly, until we reluctantly pull apart.
“I’ll call you from St. Louis,” I say breathlessly.
He kisses me once more before I force myself to get out of the car.
We’ll be together again soon, I’ll tell him about Stan, and then maybe we’ll find some semblance of normal.
Because I’m falling hard and I can’t picture my future without Atlas in it.
TWENTY-ONE
