The intensity when we’re in the same room together.
And how safe I feel in his arms.
It makes no sense because generally speaking, I’m neither afraid nor needy. I do get lonely sometimes, and that’s a space Atlas is beginning to fill. A need I didn’t know I had until he stumbled into my life. Both literally and figuratively.
He’s not stumbling tonight, though.
When I get to the restaurant, he’s waiting by the door, and my skin tingles as he rakes his gaze over me. He likes what he sees, and now I’m not sure opting for the no-panties look was the best idea because I’m going to spend the entire evening in a state of arousal.
He doesn’t hesitate to press his lips to mine, a chaste welcome that promises so much more.
“You look beautiful,” he says softly.
“Thank you.”
He slides his hand around mine as the maître d’ leads us to a table in the back, where we’ll have privacy, and we sit across from each other. I want to devour him–and he must sense a shift in my feelings because he cocks his head quizzically.
“Everything all right?”
“Yes.” I smile. “I just can’t decide which thing turns me on more–you having a collection of my panties or sitting through dinner without anything on under this dress.”
His eyes turn molten. “Well, I know which one turnsmeon more, but I’ll leave the rest to you.”
The waiter arrives with wine so that conversation is effectively put on hold.
“It’s nice to have an evening when you don’t have to rush on stage or to an interview or whatever,” he says as we sip an exquisite malbec.
“Agreed. Sometimes it feels like the whole world wants a piece of me.”
He frowns a little. “Does that include me?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean you at all! Believe me, if I didn’t want to spend time with you, I wouldn’t.”
“I don’t imagine you’re able to spend time with many people when you’re touring.”
“Not really, no.”
“Lily, don’t take this the wrong way, but I looked online and saw this tour is continuing for another year. Isn’t that…exhausting? And I’m talking about your voice, your body–don’t you need a break?” He looks sincere so I don’t take offense.
“There are breaks built in. For example, between the US leg and the European leg. And then again between Europe and Australia. I’ll have a month off mid-September and another month next April, along with a couple of weeks around the holidays.”
“I work hard too, so I get it, but it doesn’t seem like enough. I spend my days reading and coordinating contracts, and occasionally yelling at people, but you’re literally on a plane every day or two. I travel but not like you.”
I can’t tell if he’s being thoughtful or judgmental, so I opt for levity.
“I need to buy a jet like you–then it’ll just be home away from home with a bedroom in the back!”
He smiles but I can tell he’s assessing, as if I’m a puzzle he hasn’t quite figured out. “There are certainly perks to having a jet.”
“I’ve thought about investing, and maybe I will at the end of this tour. It just didn’t seem prudent when we were planning. I didn’t know how good sales would be.”
“So… what’s next?”
“You mean, after the tour?” I shake my head. “That’s still so far away I haven’t thought about it.”
“Vacation? Going home to Nashville? No ideas at all?”
If he’s hinting at something, I can’t play this game. Not yet anyway.