Page 49 of Chasing the Wild
“Touch me.”Properly. Silently, I’m willing him to cross that forbidden line for us. To slip inside my panties and let me feel the roughness of his fingers sink against the most intimate part of me, like I’ve been craving for this man to do ever since I first laid eyes on him.
Colt grinds against my lower back. His cock is rigid and thrusts against me as he grips and rubs the fabric covering that tiny bundle of nerves. The way he’s expertly massaging my swollen, needy bud has me melting in his arms.
“This is all for me?” He grunts against my neck. I feel his fingers slide down further, hard and low inside my jeans, cupping the drenched material against my entrance.
I whimper and nod. “All for you.Only you.”
Colt curses. In that moment, it’s like something shifts inside him. It’s as if reality bursts through the front door with a flurry of ice coating the two of us, and he tears himself away. Yankinghis hand out, he pushes himself off. Backing away from me while panting.
Meanwhile, I’m left with a chill sweeping through me right down to my toes.
“Fuck.” When I turn to face him, one hand is shoved in his hair, and his wild eyes sear into me with longing. “No. We can’t do this.”
I take a step nearer, but he scrubs his other hand down over his mouth and shakes his head. Warning me not to come closer.
“Why not?”
When his desperate stare meets mine, Colt’s features show the strain of everything about our circumstances.
The lines in his face show the intricate mess of unwritten rules we just bulldozed through, and shouldn’t have.
“I’m sorry. Is it me? Something I—” Faltering a little, words abandon me. Maybe I’m the problem here. Perhaps I’m not what he wants after all.
That brings Colt rushing back to me, at least. Fisting the hem of my sweater, it’s like he can’t bring himself to risk touching me again, but can’t fully let go either.
“Look at you, baby.” He lets out a low growl. “Jesus Christ. The things I want to do to you.”
My cheeks are flushed and my lips still tingle from the force of his kisses. The scratch of his beard feels as though it has imprinted itself, indelibly left a mark on my memory. In the flicker of the low flames I see the creases deepen around his hooded eyes. My fingers itch to reach out and stroke those fine lines, to press at them in an effort to smooth them away. To maybe be that person who can help ease the burden of what he carries alone.
“But we shouldn’t.” My eyelids squeeze shut. This cannot be happening. It’s so fucking unfair I want to run out into the frozen night, drop to my knees, and scream until my lungs burn.
“But we can’t,” he echoes.
I feel his knuckle tilt my chin up, and the pad of his thumb rubs over my puffy bottom lip.
“Layla… look at me.” His voice is low as he speaks my name. When I open my eyes, all I see through my damp lashes is his own battle raging beneath the surface. That sight makes it worse. Makes it so much more fucking unbearable to know that he wants this as desperately as I do.
“You’re perfect and beautiful, but right now, I need you to do as I say, baby.”
I hate how much I love hearing him call me that.
“Go to bed. Don’t stop. Don’t pause. I need you to do that for me.”
He knows he can ask this of me, and of course I’ll be good for him. Because he knows I want to please him and if I don’t obey him right now he’ll never forgive himself for giving in to this thing between us.
I want to be so fucking good for him.
My face cracks as I duck my chin away from his touch, and I wrap my arms around myself. His stiff grip relents, with his hand dropping away from my sweater. Unbuttoned jeans hanging loose over my hips are a taunting reminder of what nearly unfolded in the shadows and firelight.
Reluctantly, I head away from him and toward my room.Just as he asked.
As I reach the doorway to my bedroom, I can’t help myself, sneaking a long look back down the hall. When I do, all I see is the sight of his broad frame. Colt stands in the gloom gripping the mantelpiece above the fire with two hands and his head dropped down between his shoulders.
My tortured cowboy.
Chapter 15
The snow is falling again, and my resolve is seconds from burning to ash.
