Page 111 of Chasing the Wild
When I get inside, the barn lights are still glowing and soft music drifts from somewhere down the far end near the tack room. Fuck. That constricting band tightens around my chest, knowing that any second now, I’m going to see her. I’m going to see her, and I can’t reach out for her exactly like my soul craves to.
As the clip of hooves and scuff of my boots announces our arrival, I see movement, and that’s when Layla comes into focus. She’s carrying a saddle and pauses, eyes locked on me, pink lips slightly parted.
Her hair falls over her shoulders in two long braids, but it’s her eyes I’m immediately drawn to. Even from here it’s obvious they’re reddened and puffy and it twists a knife in my gut to know without a shadow of a doubt that my girl has been crying.
“Fuck. Layla.” I’m moving before I can think. I want to call her baby, or angel, or anything to let her know that she means the goddamn world to me. But there’s also a rope wrapped and knotted around my tongue, knowing that even though Kayce is inside and it’s just the two of us right now, we can’t risk anyone seeing or hearing something that is none of their fucking business…just in case.
“Colt.” Her eyes widen and dart over my shoulder. Even though I know no one is behind me, that subtle glance makes me falter. “Don’t. It’s fine.” She shakes her head and bites down on the inside of her cheek, continuing to put the saddle away.
“That’s more than enough for one day.” I keep my voice low. Beginning to sort out the horse beside me, but keeping an eye on whatever Layla is still fussing around with at the same time.I know she’s avoiding going back to the house. It’s what I’m fucking doing, too.
“Like I said, it’s fine.”
“Layla...”
“Colt.”
I take a deep inhale, wishing like hell there was any kind of damn alternative other than this scenario panning out right now. “They want to take you down to town tomorrow night since it’s going to be your birthday soon. Kayce asked me to let you know.”
“Tomorrow?” She finally stops and looks at me. Eyes going round.
“Yup.” I lift my cap up and dig my hands through my hair before wedging it back on my head with a touch more force than necessary. “I didn’t know what to say when Kayce approached me about it outside. He wants to give you a night out to celebrate or some shit like that, and unless there’s a good reason not to go…” I falter. Fuck, I don’t really know what to say. Because at that very moment, I hear it. There’s no good reason for her to decline their offer of going out without raising questions or suspicions. We must both reach the same conclusion at the same time as those unspoken words hang in the night air between us.
“Yeah. I get it.” Her lips twist. “It’s a nice gesture.” God, I hate that her eyes are so red—that she’s obviously been upset. I just want to pull her into a hug and cook her a meal and have her cuddled into me in front of the fire.
“You don’t have to.” I hold her eyes, trying to convey everything that I want to say, but can’t.
“Nah. It’s fine.” She shrugs and walks over to pick up her phone, tapping the screen to turn the music off.
Layla looks like she’s ready to leave, and I’m trying to find a reason to keep her here just a little longer. Something that is neutral ground, just a regular conversation between two people.Anything that surely could be a perfectly normal reason to stall this girl from leaving.
“The money thing…” I blurt out. That causes her green eyes to whip up to meet mine. “Just leave it be between me and Kayce. You don’t need to bring it up with him.” Shoving my hands in my pockets, I take a step in her direction but keep my hands firmly tucked away. No risk of reaching out to grab her if I stand like this. None. At. All.
She immediately flushes and looks flustered as all hell, and that was entirely the opposite of what I wanted to happen by bringing the topic up.
“No. Honestly…”
“Layla. Listen to me. My son is a shithead who screwed you out of money that was rightfully yours. As long as everything is squared away on your end, it’s really between me and Kayce to resolve now anyway.”
I study her reaction. She looks like she wants to argue. There’s a ticker tape of emotions playing out across her features, like she can’t decide whether to admit defeat or get into it with me.
Eventually, she folds. Her shoulders sink, and she drops her eyes. “Thank you.” Her voice is whisper soft.
“Don’t even think about it. You’ve got enough to handle, leave my asshole son to me.”
Her chin dips in a nod, and she starts to move. Fuck, this feels so wrong. There’s an endless horizon of things I want to be able to say and yet nothing rises for me. It’s cold and bleak and the weight of that sits heavy in my chest.
As Layla draws closer, having to pass by me in the central aisle between the horse’s stalls, I intentionally step in the way, partially blocking her path. Not touching her, but the small motion halts her progress. She still won’t look at me, but I see the way her chest rises and falls a little faster.
With my hands still shoved in my pockets, I duck my head quickly to check there’s no one near the entrance to the barn. “I fucking hate this. It’s killing me to see you upset,” I whisper.
She shakes her head, swallowing hard.
“Come stay in my bed tonight. Be with me, baby. I’m going fucking insane without you.” My voice is low, and I can’t help the way it cracks a little. Admitting out loud even just a fraction of what I actually want to say.
Cracking like my goddamn heart.
Layla sucks in a sharp breath, but still refuses to look at me.
