Page 119 of Chasing the Wild
And that’s all we’ll get.
I have to leave her, even though it fucking kills me to do so.
As my fist closes around the door handle, I suck in a long breath, pausing… contemplating if there’s a potential version of this moment where I get to walk out of here holding her hand and we go home together. Where it’susand not the awkward drive back up the mountain pretending there’s nothing entwining our hearts.
But I know that’s not the case.
Assholes like me don’t get that.
Layla has got her whole life ahead of her.
So, I turn the lock and slip into the dimly lit, empty hallway outside.
Alone.
Chapter 33
Ican hardly breathe.
Everywhere I go, either Kayce is there with his stupid, blinding smirk, or Chy is clacking her acrylics against her phone screen. Then came the icing on the ugliest cake in existence: she had her massive pregnancy tits hanging out over breakfast this morning as she continued to flirt openly with Colt.
It’s all too much, and I feel like I’m one second away from screaming.
Being outside with the horses has been the shred of sanity that I’ve clung to. There’s hardly a spot left in these stalls that hasn’t been thoroughly attended.
I’m sure these horses have never had so much pampering, but this is my refuge. I’d take one of them out for a ride somewhere, but in all honesty, I haven’t dared to, because I know that’s what Colt has done today.
After Chy’s breakfast time near nipple slips and constantly staring at Colt’s ass, he took off as fast as he could.
Kayce was nowhere to be seen, sleeping off the booze, until after his father had long left for some far-flung corner of the ranch.
Which left me faced with the prospect of having to spend time with the crazy pregnant lady, or the opportunity to make my hasty exit. So, I grabbed my coffee and practically ran out the door as soon as it seemed anon-suspiciousamount of time after Colt departed.
God, my cheeks immediately heat, recalling last night. What we did in secret in the bathroom. How it felt so fucking hot and natural to be with him, followed by the moment when he touched my face so tenderly afterward.
My heart squeezes, feeling the ghost of his lips against my forehead. The brush of the pads of his thumbs against the apple of my cheeks.
For what it’s worth, whatever this is, I want it so bad it fucking aches.
I lay in bed last night with tears brimming over, replaying those words. Curled into a ball in my giant empty bed, in a room that doesn’t feel like my room at all.
How is it possible to miss him so desperately, when we’re under the same roof, and we had sex only hours before? My cowboy feels like he might as well be separated from me by oceans and continents, not a few soft footsteps down a quiet hallway.
Gnawing on my lip, I brush Ollie. She’s looking so gorgeous and glossy and positively preens under my strokes over her coat. I’ve taken extra time with each of the horses today, dragging out every moment lost in thought—deeply lost in memories of Colt.
I’m also feeling a sense of dread as to what is to come once my time here is officially up and I have to leave. I’ve got to collect my car, which apparently is fixed and ready for me anytime I’m ready to pick it up. Then, I’ve got to move on to my next placement.
My attempts to find a new job have been half-hearted at best. But I’ve seen a couple of requests from stables and dude ranchesnot too much of a distance from here, then some others that are a good few hours away.
The temptation is strong to look for somewhere as far from this mountain as possible. Because I simply do not know how I’ll be able to work and live and continue to exist, knowing I could easily climb in my car and return to Crimson Ridge.
Maybe I need to look for something closer to where my graduation ceremony will be? That’s at least a full day’s drive away, in Colorado, if not more.
So far, I haven’t had the heart to open any of Sage’s recent messages. I know she’ll be poised and ready to rip into me when I finally do discover the energy to hit reply, but as of right now, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I need to tell my best friend I’m coming back home, and try to find somewhere to complete my apprenticeship close by.
There aren’t anywhere near as many options for vet placements, but at least I could hug my friend and sob uncontrollably into her shoulder and eat ice cream in my underwear while I form a Layla-shaped imprint on her couch.
Totally normal behavior.
