Page 18 of Locked Up by The Libra
Lies like telling myself this place could be my home, this man could be my future.
“God, you look so fucking hot bound for me, little girl. Fuck, I love what a good girl you are for me.”
Again, I just nod. I love being his good girl, too. I thrive on his praise, I seek it when we’re making love. Only, we have yet to make love. All we have done is fuck out of loneliness, out of fear, and out of desperation. It was never making love because this is not love.
It came close though. It could have been love, I think. Now at least I have had a small taste. A sip of something good. At least I know that I can feel something other than indifference for someone.
“Such a good girl. Come for daddy, little girl. Let me feel you choke my cock, sugar.”
Twisting my hips as his hand slides beneath me, fingers rough at my clit, I shout. It is muffled because of the panties and how his body weighs me down. He pinches my clit as he slams into me again and again and I let out another primal shout as my orgasm wracks my entire body.
Watt pumps into me a few more times, his other hand on my neck, pinning me down. My body takes his like it was made to. Just as he said. And maybe I was made for him. Maybe the way he hurts me, the way I call him daddy because it feels right when we’re this way, was because we were meant to be together.
But I can’t—I won’t—be with a man who lies to me.
His heavy breathing fills my ears as he rocks into me, calling my name. He comes hard, his thick cock jerking inside me. I wonder for a moment if I could wind up pregnant. If it would matter if I did. And my answer chokes me as tears flood my eyes.
I would still go even if I was pregnant.
Before I do, I want one more night with him. I want the night he promised earlier. The popcorn, the old western, the two of us making out on the couch together. I want one good night to hold on to when I am alone after I leave. And I know I will be alone.
It’s ironic that when I came here looking for my friends, I found Watt. And I found Driftwood. This beautiful place that I have fallen in love with. And now I have to give it all up. Along with the only women I trust, the only ones I ever considered real friends.
“Come, sugar, let me take care of my good girl.”
His soft purr in my ear stirs me and I sit up a little. He pulls the panties from my mouth, kissing my aching jaw. Untying my hands, he scoops me up and carries me to the bathroom. We sit in a hot tub for a long time before I ask him to give me the night he promised.
“Of course, sweetheart. It’s how I want to spend all our nights now.”
Together we finish the popcorn, and he grabs some ice-cold Cokes for us. In the living room we snuggle together on his wide loveseat, my body draped across his. Tucked beneath a luxuriously soft blanket, we share the popcorn as we watch Kevin Coster owning the old west.
Before the credits roll I am sitting in his lap, our kisses tasting of popcorn and Coke. We kiss and touch each other for hours, but this time it never goes further. It never gets rough, our hands never push at clothes or pull at hair. It is sweet and playful, and I am glad I got another taste of him.
When we go to bed, I get the sense he is holding me tighter than usual. Maybe he knows I will be gone in the morning. If he does, he doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to talk at all, it seems.
Instead of telling me all he swore he would, he doesn’t say a thing. We never talk again as we lie in bed, facing each other. I see it in his eyes that, yes, he fears I will leave. I wish I could stay. I wish I could ignore that he lied but the truth is, I can’t.
Because the truth is, I don’t know Watt at all.
Watt had days to tell me he was the sheriff, that he had checked up on me, that he had come back to the hotel that night. He told me nothing. Hell, I don’t even know his middle name or how he takes his coffee. He has given me nothing but is asking me for everything.
Falling asleep in his arms is bittersweet. I don’t want to miss a moment of being with him one last time. But I want to be past it all, I want to be out of his cabin, out of this town, and back out on my own. I won’t ever make the mistake of trying this with anyone again.
“Willa, please, tell me you forgive me. I can’t take it if you don’t.”
“Watt, I forgive you baby. I don’t know why you can’t share yourself with me, but I understand. I forgive you,” I whisper in the darkness before I brush my trembling lips against his.
Turning in his arms, I let him gather me close, cradling my body in his powerful arms. I smell his soap, his warm skin, and the cologne that scents his sheets. I will always remember it. I won’t cry. I’ve given up enough in my life. I won’t be sad when I go—at least I got a chance to feel this.
Watt falls asleep first, his leg shoved between mine, his arms locked tight around me. I lie in the darkness, waiting for a chance to escape. When Fletch jumps on the bed about an hour after we climb in, it gives me my chance. I don’t even grab my bag. Nothing in there that can’t be replaced.
Glancing down at him once last time, I whisper three words I have never said to someone else. Words I never thought I would get to feel at all. For that, I am grateful. I am thankful I got a glimpse of it, even if it will tear me apart to go on without it.
Padding my way through the cabin, I make it to the door before I start to second guess myself. I have it open, one foot on the porch, one still inside. I could stay and forget he lied. If I were to stay, he might open up. He might finally let me in, and the lie wouldn’t even matter.
I can’t get myself to believe it. I have tried to change a lot of things in my life—but I know I can’t change a man like Watt.
Pulling away from the cabin, I am in for a surprise. I told myself I wouldn’t cry. And I am not crying. I am falling apart. I am sobbing so hard, my chest aches. I can’t breathe. I can barely see as I take the winding road leading away from the cabin and the mountain.
