Page 9 of Slow Burn
“How would we do this?” I almost whooped when Brynn went soft on me, bright white teeth biting back the smile she didn’t want to give me.
“I got some time, I plan to take it to get some stuff figured out with Amelia. Get her situated at my place. You could help me with that, if you had the time. When I go back to work, I would just need you to look after her during my shifts. Until you need to go. Or until we figure something out for her.” Brynn looked away and I knew what was coming next. Could feel it in the tremor of her body.
“You won’t...it’s about Amelia, right? Not about you or me, or...anything else.” When those eyes swung back to me, I felt it like a punch to the gut. I had hurt her and that fucking killed me.
“This is about her. I want to do right by her, Brynn. I know I don’t get another shot with you, no matter how much I may want it. I can’t lie and say I’m never going to slip,” I pressed closer, breathing her sweet vanilla crème scent into my lungs, “Can’t promise I won’t ever forget that it’s not about you and me and everything else.” My hand lifted, the back of my knuckles smoothing down her jaw as I watched her eyes darken.
“Levi...please...don’t.” Brynn twisted her face away, focusing on the baby, on walling herself away from me. I couldn’t blame her. Just like she couldn’t blame me when I tore those fucking walls to the ground.
“I promise to behave as best as I can manage, baby. I just...I know what it’s like not to have anyone. To wonder where I belong. I don’t want her to feel like that. Doesn’t matter what Isabel did or didn’t do; or who she is or isn’t willing to be. What matters is that my nugget feels like someone gives a shit about her. Because, I do.” I back away, all the way to the door behind me, my hand on the handle.
The air is thick again and I have to fight back the urge to pin her to the wall and kiss the shit out of her. Only thing that stops me is that baby. And not wanting to blow another chance. I know her answer before she tips her head up, pins me with those eyes and breathes it out.
“I thought I might stay a while longer. Might as well be sure little Amelia gets situated right. I can do that, Levi. Nothing else.” Again, her chin lifted and the baby cooed and I had to look away.
She’s lying and we both know it. The tremor of her voice with its eastern accent, the way her pretty eyes dart away before I can pin her with my own look. All neon signs pointing to her lie. For now, I can allow the lie because, for now, I need to lie too. I need to pretend that Brynn is my employee.
I ignore the twitch of my dick when I consider that. Consider her reporting to work as my nanny. Her and all that thick crimson hair piled atop her head. Glasses, maybe. Little skirt and cute cardigan. Thigh high stockings and Mary Janes. Jesus. I can’t think about her that way. At least, not right now.
“Thank you. I promise to behave. At least, I promise to attempt to behave. I won’t lie to you, baby, it ain’t going to be easy.” I back away, hand reaching behind me for the handle.
“Start with calling me something other than baby. Finish with remembering who did what four months ago, yeah?” I winced and nodded, pushing the door open and stepping out.
“Trust me, Brynn,” I breathed her name as she passed by me, loving that shudder she couldn’t hide, “I didn’t forget. Not a fucking second of it.” I watched her hips sway in her dress, that perfect backside making my hand itch to smack it. Just once. Hard.
Lola had not bothered to wait. I spotted her a few aisles away, cart full of baby items I couldn’t even begin to describe. The girls wouldn’t let us leave until I had everything they considered necessary. I didn’t argue, not even when the total ended up with more zeroes than I expected. The cost didn’t matter to me.
I wanted Amelia to have everything she could ever need.
Tucking her into her new bassinet that night, I vowed I’d do whatever it took to give her everything. I had meant what I said. DNA didn’t matter to me, because, how could it? Amelia was an innocent who needed someone to make her feel like she belonged.
I could be that person because I knew more than most how it felt not to belong to anyone at all.
