Page 61 of Slow Burn
“Hey Goldie,” Finn was the first to greet me with a booming holler and a hug that lifted me off my feet, “Give me that Princess.” I laugh when the mountain that is Finn snatches tiny Amelia up, making her giggle like he always does.
“Levi out on a call?” I wonder, suddenly feeling foolish for coming here.
“Nah, sweets, he's up in the commons. Levi!” I laugh when he booms his name, Amelia laughing even harder.
Finn is going to make a great dad. I know he and Gigi are waiting—hell they waited half a lifetime to finally be together, but man when those two have kids? He's going to be such a good dad and those babies will be gorgeous. Just like I'm sure all the Cooper babies will be. I wonder briefly if Levi meant what he said all those weeks ago about me giving him kids. I look up as he pops up in the loft overhead. Levi's perfect face splits in a smile and he rounds the railing, taking two steps at a time.
“Hey, honey. Princess.” Levi pauses as Finn heads up the stairs with Amelia, kissing her head.
“Hey. Sorry I came by, I just...” I shake my arms out and tip my head back, letting out a quiet scream of frustration.
“Honey, you can come by any time you want. I was called in or I'd be at home. Was Megan okay with the baby?” He glances over his shoulder with a smirk; it falls when he twists back to me, taking in my less than pleased expression.
“Not so much. Because it was definitely not Megan I found with our daughter,” I growl, angry that he thought to reach out to our next door neighbor and not me first, “Why don't you guess who I found instead?” Levi pales and tilts his head back, cursing at the sky.
“Fucking bitch. I told her to stay away. Baby, I am so sorry. I got called out...” I laugh, loud and cold, hating that I'm becoming this person.
“So sorry that I found your ex-wife with our daughter? In our home, which you have yet to ask me to come back to? So sorry that she told me not only is Amelia not mine, but not even yours? Or so sorry that you called someone else to take care of our daughter instead of me? Again?” Levi cursed, closing the distance between us until we both backed outside the wide open doors of the firehouse.
“Honey, no. I am on call. I told you today and tomorrow, remember? I got called for a rescue, thought you'd be home soon and I'd let you know. I left our daughter with ap. I should...I should have told you Isabel came back. Said that bullshit. Amelia is my daughter. And yours. She can't change that.” I shook my head and walked away and he rushed to stop me.
“Lies. We just keep telling lies.” Levi hooked both hands around my neck, tipping my head back so I had to look at him.
“No lies, Brynn. I fucking love you. That's not a lie. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No lie. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Absolutely the truth. And the best mother Amelia could ever have. You know that's the truth. No one will ever take her from you; we will fight for her. Just like we fight for each other. We slay dragons together baby, remember?” I shake my head again, overwhelmed by the situation suddenly.
“Levi. Isabel is her mother. We can fight...but we might lose. I could lose everything. Maybe you two should just...” Levi pins me to the brick wall, lowering his head to whisper against my mouth.
“We slay dragons. We build castles. We get the fairytale. We will fight, we will build, we will get our happily ever after. I love you, Brynn Gold. You are the best mother my daughter could ever have. Amelia loves you. Don't you give up on us now.” I let him kiss me softly, but I am still scared, so I shove away.
“I need to go. I need to think. I thought...why have you not asked me to come home, Levi? Is it because...because she's there? Taking her place back?” My back is to him when I ask, because I can't bear to see whatever the truth may be.
I don't want to believe it. And, the rational part of me doesn't, not really. But the part of me that aches at the idea of losing them, really losing them, and the dark parts of me that say I might deserve that, latch onto it. It would explain why he hasn't asked me to come home. Why he says goodnight and leaves me at Lola's, when I could just be with them. Doesn't explain much else, but again, the dark parts of me clutch at the fragile pieces of negativity and stare at him to wait for him to break them into nothingness.
“Oh, honey. No. Nothing and no one can take your place. Ever. Not for Amelia, Brynn. Damn sure never for me. I love you, I am sorry I just...I should have taken the fifty-five fucking seconds.” Levi sounded defeated and I wanted to tell him it would be okay. But, I couldn't, not yet.
I jumped when the alarm sounded and I heard the pounding of feet down stairs, and the hollers of the guys. I rushed in, taking Amelia from Cage, who Finn had seemingly relinquished her to. I stood back as we watched Levi and the others gear up. I hated to be angry with him, to fight, at the same time I'm glad we were fighting things out. Being honest about when we got hurt or upset. But I couldn't deal with more lies, not when I'd finally shed the last of my own. I watched them board the trucks, Levi watching us with a sadness that settled heavy in my chest.
“I love you Princess. Love you too, Brynn.” And then they tore out of the station and I watched them go.
It was too late for me to tell him I loved him back. That nothing and no one, surely not Isabel, could change that. Dread settled in my chest, low in my belly, and my heart skidded to a slow thud.
I was so stupid. My head ran my heart and caused me to make terrible choices. All. The.Time.I loved Levi and Amelia down to my bones and beyond. And yet, I allowed Isabel to walk in and get just what she wanted. Driving a wedge between the two of us, with little effort, was a win for her and nearly a loss for us. I could not let her win the war.
I vowed to slay our dragons and keep slaying them until we got our fairytale ending.
