Page 53 of Slow Burn
“No, sir. My home is Chicago now. My family is waiting for me to come home. I fucked up a lot because I lost my family once. Don't intend to do it again.” Bernie's mouth twisted into an evil grin as he stepped forward.
“I was your family, Goldie. Remember?” Before I could duck away, his hand shot out, smoothing over my face then tangling in my hair.
Swiftly, I backed away. Bernie moved with. The fear was crawling back through me, tearing away at the confidence I had walked in here with. I didn't expect it to go sideways like this. I took another step back, closing my eyes and waiting for it. For the blow that would start his assault.
Didn't even realize I was talking, loudly, angrily, every step back I took.
“Never listened. I said no. Said no to the bourbon. Whisky. Said no to the weed and the pills. Always said yes after a hundred no's. But I said no, first. I said no, every time you made me watch you abuse those girls. Said no every time you made them watch you abuse me. Every single time,” I was panting now, my back hitting the bar I'd back away so far.
“Said no, when you handed me the first package. After I cleaned out my college fund to clear my debts. You said no then. I said no when you fucked me in front of strangers. Tied me up and hurt me. I said no. I said no Bernie. NO. NO!” I was screaming the words hot and angry into his face, my eyes wide open.
Once my eyes had closed, awaiting his attack, I'd seen her face. Seen Amelia's beautiful face. Somehow so much like mine. I saw her making bad choices and owing someone like Bernie. Like Donnie. Like my parents. I wouldn't let her make the same bad choices I had. Wouldn't let her pay for those choices, even if she made them.
I was done paying for a choice. A choice that, I now had no doubt, had been the right one.
“Bernie.” Donnie's voice boomed.
One word. Just two syllables. I knew what it meant. I'd heard Donnie say sentences that held as much weight as that one word did now. Threatening, menacing, life altering sentences. Scooter was behind Bernie, who had followed me just a few feet. His beefy hand rested on Bernie's shoulder; I chanced a look into his face and saw for the first time since I'd met him, Bernie looked truly human. Terrified and human.
There was a few whispers and some talk behind hands, and Scooter led Bernie out. I had an idea of where he might be heading, but I didn't care. He'd made that choice. Made lots of choices. I crossed the room, lifting open my bag again.
“I owe you a debt, Donnie. Want to clear it.” I pulled out the rubber banded stacks of money, fresh and crisp from my visit to the bank just before coming here.
Donnie's dark eyes narrowed on me as one side of his mouth curved into a smile. Nodding his head, he held his hand out for me. I set four stacks into his hands. Then two more. Four more. Double what I owed and a little more. A nice round number that I hoped could buy my fairytale ending.
“Now you just get to walk away, huh?” I saw it flash in his eyes and I almost laughed; he was proud of me. For showing up, for running my mouth, for finding who I was supposed to be.
“Yes, sir. A dozen kids can make those deliveries. I don't care enough to talk. I paid my debts. Bernie owes more dues than I do, Mr. Kelly. Figure you know that, though,” We shared a smile because, of course he knew it, “I head home, forget the name Kelly, Whiteys and Dorchester. You find another fuck up to take my spot, let me have my life.” The end of his stubby cigar glowed bright orange and he spoke through a cloud of smoke.
“Smart girl, Gold. Always liked you. Liked your fire. You had to be the one to let it burn again.”
I laughed. Hard, loud, long, I laughed at his sage advice. Almost too late. And coming from a brutal gangster. My life. This is my life. And I was going to fucking live it.
I walked out of Whitey's, out of south Boston and right to the airport.
“Boston to Chicago. Yes, please, one way.” Finally, I planned my escape.
I chose them. I'd choose them every single day forever, if Levi let me. I would never look back to Boston, never lie about who I had been once. Because that fucked up girl made me who I am now. A motherfucking queen.
A queen who has a king, a Princess and a fairytale castle to get back to.
