Page 48 of Slow Burn
Seeing the woman I gave my last name to, I miss Brynn so violently I stumble. Her effortless beauty and warm soul, her freckles and bright eyes. Everything about her felt good and pure and that’s why her lies hurt so much. Because I did see happiness when I looked at her. When I saw her with our daughter.Our daughter.
“You might have carried her, while lying to me about it, might have given birth to her, but you are not her mother. Didn’t give her a single thing, not even a name. My daughter has a mother. We don’t need you.” I back towards the door and she shrieks loudly.
“Excuse me? Who?” I shake my head, already closing the door.
“Not your business, Isabel. Just like you didn’t make Amelia your business for the last five months. You can continue that.” I almost have the door closed when she says it.
“You’re not her father, Levi.” I swear to Christ, it comes out in echo, as if she says it over and over again.
But, I know she says it just once. I throw the door open and she’s sneering at me, a hand propped at her hip. A bored look on her ugly face. A face I thought was gorgeous once. Fucking fool.
I’d never lay a hand on a woman, but right then, I want to.
“Fuck you, she is mine.” I don’t recognize the bitter growl that barks this out.
“No, baby, she is not. I fucked up, that’s why I left. Why I didn’t fight for the divorce. After I had her…I came back. Thought we might make a go of it, once I told you the truth. You didn’t even give me a chance. You were with this woman you’ve been playing house with. Either way, she’s not yours. I think she might be Diggs’? Maybe Stiles? Not entirely sure, you know me. I like a threesome every now and again.” I know this all too well and I advance on her, backing her to the edge of the porch.
“Proud to be such a fucking whore, aren’t you? I don’t care what you say. Ameliais mydaughter. Mine. I will get the tests to prove it. Regardless what blood is in her veins, that little girl is mine. You abandoned her, Isabel. Why do you want her now?” Another wave a panic rocks me as I consider losing the only other girl I’ve ever loved.
After losing Brynn, if I lost Amelia, I’d be done for.
“I don’t want to take her from you. Those fucks would hardly be good fathers, they’re bigger whores than I ever was.” I laugh and shake my head.
“Debatable. What do you want, then?” I begin pacing the porch, knowing this will cost me, whatever it is.
“I didn’t know my mom, you know,” I do know this, I always pinned some of Isabel’s issues on that truth, “I don’t want her to know what that’s like.” I snort, leveling a hateful glare at her.
“What about the past nearly year of her life?” Isabel sighs and twists her fingers, looking away.
“I wasn’t ready. Getting pregnant scared me. It’s why I didn’t fight the divorce, too. I loved you, Levi. Best way I knew how. I knew you couldn’t forgive this. I want to try now, I am ready.”
“Not good enough. That is not good enough for her. Trying is not good enough, Isabel. Amelia, she has a mother. A woman who loves her and has been there every single day, every night.” I hate the smirk that twists her crimson lips.
“Where’s her mother now?” As if she knows she won’t find her, she glances into the house past me.
“Fuck. You. You fucking selfish, hateful, deceitful, filthy whore.” I am spitting by the time I finish, so angry I can see only red, my hands shaking at my sides.
“Maybe later husband. Now, I want to see my child.” I back up fast as she starts for the door.
“Leave. Now. You won’t see her until I say so. If I say so. You can get off my fucking porch, and don’t come back until I say so. You hear me?” I put an arm out, blocking her view into the house.
“We really want to do this? Guess who the courts will side with, baby? Let me clue you in: the woman who carried her, birthed her, that’s who.” I wedge myself in between her and the house, refusing to give in.
“Why don’t we find out then, shall we? Leave, Isabel. You are not welcome in my home. Even if you ever see my daughter again, it won’t be here.” I don’t know why I insist this until she smiles up at me.
“Aww you and the new wifey playing house, are you? Cute.” My jaw clenches and she backs away, palms out in surrender.
“None of your fucking business. I suggest you find a lawyer.”
With that, I slam the door in her face, wishing I had done that the moment I realized it wasn’t Brynn. It takes me long moments before I can breathe right again. And when I can, it’s still not right. I won’t believe her; I can’t, not after all the lies she told me for so long.
I realize I don’t know a thing about getting it right.
I married a woman I believed I could love. All because she made my dick feel shit. Despite her past, and everything I knew about it, I put a ring on her finger and gave her my last name. Even though I never felt like I knew her at all. Gave my all when she didn’t deserve it.
Then, I find someone who does deserve my everything. Gives me almost everything of herself.Almost. Who I feel like I know better than myself. And, who makes me feel everything; love and lust, need and passion, anger and pain, all at once. Once she gives me the last piece of herself—because she didn’t do it when I thought she should—I end it.
I threw everything away with a woman who gave me as much as she could.
