Page 42 of Slow Burn
“Love the king too, right?” Levi tugged me into his lap, kissing us both between bites of bacon.
“Mmm, yes, baby. I definitely love the king.” I knew he wouldn't let me go, not after he saw me listen to that message.
I settled into his lap and fed Amelia, while he talked about his day. Asked me what I planned to do with mine. Another thing I could take? Possessive Levi. In fact, it kind of turned me on. Okay, not kind of. Once I secured Amelia into her high chair and grabbed a can of pureed sweet potatoes, he pulled me back into his lap.
“Mmm, king loves his queen too. Fuck, you smell good. Like us. I love that. I love your tits in this shirt.” Levi murmured this all against the back of my neck as I tried to feed Amelia.
“I'd hope you loved my tits in all my shirts.” I giggled when he bit at my neck, sinking his teeth in deep. Marking me.
“Mmm, I do. This one though,' His hands skimmed beneath the midriff sweater, “I can get to the goods fast. Fuck, your tits are perfect. Pretty pink nipples, that love to be touched. So soft, honey. Fuck, I love you. Love your perfect tits and your perfect pussy and your perfect ass.” His hips ground up into said ass, igniting the fire that never seemed to cool lately.
Levi pinched my nipples hard, making me moan even as I tried to feed the baby. I glanced over my shoulder to see his eyes on my phone. Guilt and shame mixed with the desire he kept bubbling over the top of everything else. As if it was his only tool to keep me. And that, the truth of that, was something that I could not take.
I could not take the idea that he loved me so freely and easily, so completely and I was ruining it. Because I couldn't trust him with my mistakes. With the choices that shamed me and threatened everything I loved. I don't even know if he believed I loved him. If he could see how easy he had made it.
Jealous, demanding Levi, I could take. A Levi I broke because of my choices, I couldn't.
LEVI
I was a patient man. Or, had been once. I had a rough life for a long time, and I fought my way to something better. Found a place with the guys, with the fire station, with a home and a good life. I was patient during my mistake of a marriage, all the way to the end. Then I found a woman who I thought was worth a second chance, and I waited for her.
I was running out of patience now, though.
Every day, it got worse. Those calls went from a few times a day to almost every other hour. Message after message. Voicemail after voicemail. Brynn ignored them all, shut her phone off and pretended that was good enough. Until I saw her after she checked them later, thinking I didn't see her sneaking off to read or listen to whatever they were.
Today, after a grueling shift with three rescues and a small fire at a school, my patience snapped. If you did not know me, like I knew Brynn did, you might not have even realized it. Might not have seen it go from frayed to splintered to obliterated. She did know me though, because I saw it in her eyes when she realized she had pushed me too far.
“Made your favorite, baby. Rough day?” Brynn asked as I sank into my usual spot at the head of the table, Amelia seated beside me with dinner waiting.
“Shit day. You look good, honey.” My words were cold and empty and I felt her tense behind me.
“Do I? I mean...I didn't....” Brynn came up to rub at my shoulders and I shrunk away from her touch.
Today had been complete shit, that wasn't a lie. But coming home to her, it always made it better. Seeing her with our daughter, in our home, it centered me. But today, I'd had enough. I'd texted her no less than fifteen times. Brynn responded quickly, and just as she should, I suppose. And somehow, that had sent me off the deep end.
“You do. Is it for me?” It was the first time I'd voiced any jealousy out loud.
Although in the last few weeks I had all but pissed on her in my attempts to stake my claim.
“Baby,” Brynn cooed, that broken sadness I hated in her voice, “It would be for you if I was trying to look good. I'm not though, Levi.” Brynn came to sit beside me, glancing at what she had on.
Maybe she wasn't trying. She always looked good to me. She wore a lavender V-neck top that showed off her perfect tits, her nipples going hard as I stared. A loose pair of jeans with rips in the thighs and knees. Casual, messy even. That wavy crimson hair was piled on top her head in a messy bun. I thought she looked good enough to eat, though. But the taste in my mouth was sour, bitter with betrayal
“You do it for me? What else do you do for me?” Brynn's eyes widened, darting around as if she thought she might find the answer I was looking for.
“Levi, I don't know what you mean. Talk to me, tell me...” I slammed two boxes on the table and she jumped.
“Do this for me. I hate that fucking phone. I won't ask who you take calls from. Who you rush off to text back or whose voicemails you hide to listen to. Throw that fucking thing out right now.” I shoved the new phones towards her, my voice barely a growl now.
“You can't get me a phone, Levi. It's too much.” She bit her lip and I laughed bitterly.
“Watching you with that phone, that's too much Brynn. I am asking you to do this. Take this fucking phone as another brick for us. Please.” My voice cracked on the final word and her eyes snapped up to mine.
“You thinking I am just like her?” I looked away with a shake of my head before my eyes blazed into hers.
“No, honey. I know you are nothing like her. Nothing about you is anything like her. Nothing about us is anything like we were. I fucking love you. I would die for you. Would die if I lost you. Whatever you hide from me, it fucking guts me. Doesn't change how I feel. Even as it is killing me, I love you, Brynn. If you were like her, and did what she did, I wouldn't do what I did then. You'd have to be the one to walk away, Brynn. No matter how it hurts, what I feel for you is more important to me than some lies. I can't walk away, Brynn. It would have to be you.” Two lone tears slip down her face and that kills me too.
“Why won't you just ask me? You always ask the questions that no one else will. Now, when I need you to, when I am terrified of you asking, you won't.” I stand up and circle the dinner table a few times, watching Amelia shove some mashed potatoes into her face.
