Page 31 of Slow Burn
“Amelia won't remember you watching her on the other side of a pane of glass, baby. She will remember you telling her stories. Rocking her while you listen to Stevie Nicks. Cuddling with her on Sunday mornings when we all sleep in. That's what she will remember. You being the best father you how to be.” Brynn slid beneath my arm, hooking hers around me and pressing her face against my neck.
I loved her. I loved Brynn more than I knew you could love someone. There was barely room in my heart for anything else except Amelia. I loved that Princess without end. Would do anything for her, I knew it that first day. Now I had two women I would die for, would literally lay my life down for.
I felt the words on my lips. Was so damned ready to say them to her. Until I looked down and saw her face. Saw the sadness in those mossy green eyes, tears glistening in them, as she too stared in at the sleeping babies. I knew I couldn't say them until Brynn could be honest with me; because until then, if she said them back, they wouldn't be true. They wouldn't really be mine.
I was aware of everything about Brynn. Had watched her from afar for so long. I knew when she was tired or anxious. When she was angry or sad. I knew how to touch her just right to get her hot. I knew when she was holding back. When she was lying.
Brynn had been lying to me for months. Lying to me and Lola and everyone around us. Lying to herself. Letting first Lola then me and Amelia be her excuse to avoid going home. Truth was, whatever the truth was, it was not going to let her get away so easily. We were bigger than the truth, Brynn and her truth just had to get right with that.
“Let's go. We got places to be.” I head down the hall as anger floods me
“Levi, wait....” I don't wait. Don't slow down. Never even look back before we push through the doors into Lola's room.
The room is contained chaos. Lola already has a hospital gown on—bright purples and blues that she chose weeks ago—legs up in stirrups. A tangent of the foulest language I have ever heard streams from her tiny body as it writhes on the bed. But, in true Lola fashion, she says this filth as she giggles and gazes lovingly at Hunter.
“Jesus mother fuck a whore.” Lola shrieks before her shout breaks off into a laugh.
“Lola Bear. Language. Little ones are about to be among us.” I tsk as I edge towards the bed.
“Midge. We're here, mama.” Brynn softens once she lays eyes on her best friend.
The women bend their heads towards one another, Brynn smoothing her hand over Lola's belly. Something passes between them that I can't ignore. That look speaks of something shared between the two of them and no one else.
I try to stay angry. Try to hold on to it so I can protect myself when I need to. Protect Amelia. Until Brynn looks at me.
Tears shine in her jade eyes and I break. Whatever it is that just happened between them, it's part of what she keeps from me. And in that look, I know it kills her to do it. I know that she wants me to push. Brynn wants someone to make her come clean, someone to stop making it so damn easy on her. And I'm going to be that someone.
Somewhere along the line, people stopped asking the questions that mattered. Stopped seeing her answers. Her parents, her brother, maybe even Lola. Brynn carried all of it around on her own, waiting for someone to give a fuck enough to ask and take some of it for her.
To let her admit her bad choices and fuck ups then move away from them. Let them go. Instead of forcing her to line them up inside her walls and face them alone every fucking day.
I go to her now, taking her hand and bringing it to my lips. I'm still angry. Still hurt. Because I want to know the truth. But I'm pissed because it’s me who hasn't had the balls to ask. I can't lose her again. Not when I finally found what I'd always been looking for in her.
Brynn and Amelia take the dull, pulsing ache of loneliness away. They make me want to build a fucking castle and let them rule my entire fucking world inside the safety of it.
We stay by our friends while they welcome their first child. I hold her hand tight, watching her coach Lola like a pro. I even take Hunter's hand for a moment right after the tiny human comes screaming out. We will deny that later, I'm sure.
“It's...a boy!” Hunter hoots loudly enough I have no doubt he woke the other babies on the floor.
I watch him cradle that tiny baby, already promising him shit about fast cars and football and I am both proud to be part of it and again sad I missed my daughter being born. Then my eyes sweep towards Brynn, who I think will be tending to Lola.
Instead, her eyes are soft as she watches me. No matter what, she never let go of my hand once I reached out to her. I tug her once and she comes to me, nuzzling into my chest. I breath deep her sweet peppermint-peony scent, holding her tight. When she tips her head back and looks at me in that way that drives me crazy, I start backing from the room.
“Excuse us. Mom. Dad.” I wink at the couple as they cuddle on the bed with their new son.
I don't wait for a response. I'm shoving Brynn down the hall, past rooms full of new mothers, fathers, sons and daughters. I don't stop until I find an empty room around a corner. I close the heavy door and lock it behind us.
Brynn says nothing. Just watches me. I untie the loose string of the scrubs I pulled on earlier. My dick is tenting them, I'm so hard. Just a push and I spring out, my hand going to pump a few times. I get two strokes in before Brynn is on her knees, her hands wrapping around me.
“Open your mouth.” I command as both my hands thread through her crimson hair.
Brynn obeys, opening her pink lips and closing them around my cock. I hiss out a moan, almost shooting down her throat the second her tongue swirls around me. I still her head, refusing to let her move until I get a hold of my shit. I loosen my hold and she starts moving, bobbing her head. Filling the room with lewd, fuck-hot sounds of her sucking my cock.
“Holy, fuck, honey. You look so hot with those lips wrapped around me. That's it, just like that. Fuck, baby.” I'm pumping my hips, her hand is holding my balls, rolling them, and she's sucking until her cheeks hollow out.
I want to be inside her though. Need it. Need to come with her. I don't know how long I can last with her sucking me like that. I smell how hot she is, hear her scrubs rustle, and look down.Fuck. Her hand is in her scrubs, rubbing furiously at her pussy.
“Fuck, Brynn. It gets you that hot to suck my cock? Don't you make that pussy come. I need it. Need to feel you come on my cock again.” I let her take me to the back of her throat a few more times, because, Jesus, it’s so good, but I stop her.
