Page 29 of Slow Burn
I do give him something, though, just a little kiss. Levi lingers but Amelia cries and he twists away to go tend to her. I stretch in his big bed, and then it hits me. I am living another woman's life
My first few weeks here, I waited for Isabel to come back. Claim her family and leave me with nothing. As I got familiar with his home, I noted signs of her lingered. The bed we had just made love in, for instance. It’s a big sleigh bed and matches the side tables and massive dresser. All her choices, I have no doubt.
The wall hangings in the living room, void of any signs of their ill-fated romance, but screaming a woman's touch. The bathroom has pretty folded peach towels and seashells on cute shelves. No doubt Isabel. I have a sudden urge to tear every reminder of her out of this place and burn it.
I hear Levi laughing with Amelia and my heart seizes. I love that baby. Love her more than anything in this world. I would do anything for her. Anything except give her and Levi up. Not now, not after they have becoming mine. They were not mine to take, but I am taking them anyway.
Climbing from the bed, I dress in a pair of Levi's boxers and steal another CFD shirt. As I pad barefoot down the hall, more Isabel touches leap out at me. The color choices. Pretty flowers on the mantle of his fireplace. Candles. I don't want to just burn out her memory. I want to replace it with me.
I so easily slid into the place she had left vacant.
Now, I wonder if it was too easy. For us both. Was it easy for Levi to let me take the place of the woman who broke his heart? Abandoned him and his daughter and ruined the life he'd tried to build for them. Am I setting us both up for more heartache when we realize this is nothing but a fantasy?
It feels pretty damn real, though. Real and right, and so easy. Levi joins me in the kitchen with Amelia. Beside me at the stove, he cooks eggs, cradling her in one arm, cooking with the other. Beside him, I prep the bacon and some crepes, laughing when he twists mid-stir to kiss my face. Let Amelia kiss my face too. Like we had spent a dozen mornings together just like this. Easy.
The first few weeks, it was not so easy. Holding Amelia, getting used to that giggle, to the way she clung to me, it was almost too much. Until it suddenly felt right. One night, after I started staying for dinner but before I started staying in Levi's bed every night, it just changed. Felt different.
Levi got off of work, tired and dirty. I was cooking fried chicken—I’d learned it was his favorite—and Amelia had been a perfect Princess all day. The moment he saw his daughter, Levi lit up, then again when he found me in the kitchen cooking.
My heart melted—pretty sure my girl parts did some melting too—as he scooped that baby up, brought her to me and hugged us both. If I thought I had a chance of walking away, or walking away without leaving us all in ruins, I knew better that night.
Soon after, I couldn't bear to leave. Couldn't be bothered to tell Levi to behave when he lingered in the kitchen. Becoming all hands and sweet words and taunting kisses. This morning, and yesterday, they were always going to happen. Levi and I were always going to happen.
“Tell me what you're thinking, honey.” Levi whispers beside me, his mouth at my ear again.
Between us, Amelia giggles and wraps my hair around her fist, yanking me closer.
“You. Me. Her. This. It's....kind of too easy.” I winced as I took the bacon off the burner.
Levi lets out a sad sigh and twists away, hooking Amelia into the bouncer balanced on the island. After a quick kiss at her head, he comes back. Before I can make my stand, tell him that no matter what we want, it can't happen, I am hoisted into the air.
Levi takes the plate of bacon from my hand, stealing a slice as he shoves between my legs. I shoot a look at Amelia, steadying her bouncer and setting it to bounce as she giggles. Levi watches her with a smile before slipping on a serious look.Oh shit.
“Let us be easy, honey. Let it be what it is. You and me. Amelia. Whatever we become. Just let it happen. I want you, Brynn. Here, with me and the nugget, for good. I don't want you to consider Boston an option now. Because, it just isn't.” Levi didn't know the truth so he can't know how wrong that was.
The calls I ignore when he's around. The nasty voicemails that are left when I ignore them. The fact that the nanny job he offered came two days before my bank account went negative. He knows none of it. But he does know one thing.
I might put up a good fight, and maybe I am damn good at pretending when I think I need to. But sitting in that kitchen with Levi and Amelia, I know it's going to be so good if I just do what he says. Just let it happen. And so, regardless of how it will wreck me when I can't ignore those calls and what I owe back in Boston, I am going to do just that.
“I like easy. We can do easy.” I let him feed me the bacon as his smile lights up the room.
Levi may not know my secret, and maybe he never will. I have it handled. Haven't slipped up since this domestic bliss started. I won't now, I won't risk Levi or Amelia. I am being selfish and I know that. I let Levi topple my carefully constructed walls so easily and he knows why.
I want nothing more than this. With them.
