Page 26 of Slow Burn
I needed the time he had given me, true. To forgive him for not being honest. To debate what the truth mattered. If it mattered at all. I expected it to take longer than it had.
I was wrong; so, so wrong. Because, the first time I saw him again, I think it took seconds for me to forget it. To realize the truth hardly affected what he made me feel. Made me want.
We were all having dinner at Gigi's place and Levi looked absolutely miserable. But still devastatingly, perfectly handsome. I knew without him saying it or us asking, just why. It was the first time we'd been near each other in nearly a month.
My eyes met his and his face lit up and the sparkle of hope in those pretty blue eyes left me no choice. Within hours, I'd completely forgotten the embarrassing morning after one of the best nights of my life.
But not that night. How could I forget that night? It started with a touch and ended the next morning. After the best sex in the history of sex. I could never forget it started with one touch.
Once again, with just a touch, Levi started it up again.
One touch. Brief, innocent. His hand at the small of my back, guiding me from Gigi's that night months ago. It reignited the fiery flame we'd spent three days letting burn on that road trip to Chicago.
A flame I'd been so certain I'd snuffed out. Again, so wrong. So Goddamn wrong. That one was all it took; the flame leapt back to life. I'd wanted it to burn through the ache of pain and embarrassment. Of hurt and betrayal.
Levi breathed air back into it, but it flickered for four months. Growing hotter. Fiercer. Until he doused it in gas yesterday, setting us both aflame.
“Kind of broke my heart, Levi.”I had admitted softly.
“If I broke yours, I fucking shattered mine, baby.”Levi countered, the truth there in the sadness in his beautiful blue eyes.
After that, the words stopped. Coherent ones, at least. Levi claimed me as if he actually had to. Didn't need to fuck me or to tell me I was his. Just reminded me of it. I'd been his from the moment I'd danced with him in that barn in Mississippi. I realize now, he will always rip down whatever walls I attempt to erect.
Even when I know he shouldn't.
Yesterday, we went out, the three of us, celebrating Amelia's half birthday. Levi insisted we celebrate because that little Princess was his entire world. Every single day he spent time talking to her about his day. Asking her about hers. Not that she could respond, obviously. Then he asked her about me. About how great I was and how good I was for her.
Every day, he promised to do his best to keep me.
After we'd confessed everything to one another—almost everything at least—Levi looked right at me while he held that beautiful baby and promised her he would keep me. For her. For him. For me, too. And, Goddamnit, I believed it as much as Amelia did.
Then, the three of us went out to lunch. Took Amelia shopping for shit she didn't need. We ended up at the Pier, Levi insisting we take her to the Carousel. Promised us both we would make it a birthday tradition.
“I like this. I love this, actually.” Levi announced as we stood on either side of Amelia, propping her up on the unicorn he'd chosen for her.
“Love what?” My eyes swung to his, watching me coo and laugh with Amelia and I knew. I knew what he meant.
“Every bit of this. You. Amelia. Us together. I never felt less alone in my life. I love it.” Levi looked at me with a new kind of hope sparkling in his eyes.
I loved it too. More than I should have. Really, more than Icould. Levi wanted to build a castle around whatever we had found together, whatever this might come to be. One hot morning and one sweet night didn't answer my questions about what this was, though.
We have no labels for what we're doing. But, we were doing it. I don't know how long I can hold on to it. It’s right there, whatever this is, whatever Levi thinks it can be. Thinks we can have together.
And, I can almost grasp at it. Just when I reach for it, when I try to wrap my hands around it, I'm yanked back by strings holding me captive. To my past. To Boston.
“Found you, Goldilocks. Finally found you.”It's a menacing voicemail if you know who left it. If you know why they're looking for me.
Levi doesn't know. Will never know if I can help it. Neither will Lola or the others. I did this to myself and I will fix it myself. Even if it means taking my ass back to Boston, to my parent's place. Swallowing whatever humble pie they want to shovel down my throat to get their help. That meal is my last resort, however.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” Levi's husky words tear me from my thoughts.
Before they shoot right between my legs. Through my chest. Aiming right for my fucking heart. The words are breathed against my ear as he presses close behind me, his thick arms roping around my waist. This morning after is a helluva lot better than our last one.
“Behave.” I say it tauntingly because I'm done forcing either of us to behave.
“Not gonna happen, honey. How about I fix us breakfast while you get Amelia. Give me a little something first.” Levi's mouth works against my ear and its more kissing than talking.
My head twists and his mouth is on mine. I melt, weak knees, trembling breath, the whole deal. Everysingle timehe kisses me. Its sweet and promising, the way his full mouth works against mine, his tongue gentle against my lips. Just when I part my mouth, he lifts his head, his blue eyes dark and stormy.
