Page 21 of Slow Burn
7
LEVI
Two beautiful ladies in my bed and I am being the perfect gentleman. Funny how one person can change a man’s life. One tiny, adorable, sometimes stinky little baby changed mine. I don’t even remember why I wanted the things I wanted before. Because, now I want nothing more than this.
That’s a total lie. I want this and so much more. Like the redhead who’s curled up beside me, my tiny daughter cuddled between us. I want every morning with her, just like this.
Brynn is sleeping, one leg curled up over mine. Both girls are peaceful. My arm is asleep, and has been for hours, tucked beneath my girls. I don’t dare move. The moment is too perfect. There’s been a lot of moments like this the past few weeks. I still cherish every single one.
Brynn is beautiful in the sunlight, her crimson hair lit like fire around her. Amelia is snuggled into her chest, clutching at her tight. They looked enough alike, people who saw us together just see a family. With Amelia’s crimson hair and fair skin, and her bright blue eyes that are mirror images of mine. I prefer that’s what they see. Because, Goddamnit it’s what I want us to be. It’s what we should be.
We’d been pretending this thing wasn’t happening, more for her sake than anything. Brynn is not just lying about something but running from it too. I saw her ignore calls, saw her listen to voicemails that changed her mood. My girl thought she was protecting us both. It was adorable but it was pissing me off.
We were happening; Brynn was just postponing the inevitable.
“You better be careful with her.”Hunter warned me a few weeks ago, after seeing me moon over both my girls.
“You warned me about a girl once. You were right then. This time, not so much.”Brynn not being ready for us didn’t stop the truth; we were happening.
After she began to nanny for me—which just the idea of filled my spank bank for a year, not gonna lie—I was afraid I’d screwed up too badly. I was certain I’d never get through the wall I’d handed her the bricks to build.
Brynn was damn good at building that wall up each time I tore it down. I would tear it down over and over, no matter how many times she built it up. Because, each time, it was a brick or two less. I knew soon enough, there would be nothing but rubble and then she’d be mine. I’d do the grunt work because I’d earned that.
A few weeks ago, there was a break in that wall. I came home to her making us dinner. Think I wanted to marry her on the spot. Nine days of nothing, no flirting, no touching, just the basic necessary discussion and my girl was waiting with dinner and a smile.
“Tell me why, tonight?” I had asked while we did the dishes; I thought I knew, but I needed to be sure.
“Because…you stopped asking.” Was her answer as she washed the same plate three times.
“Didn’t mean I wouldn’t ask again, baby. Just had to be sure you still wanted me to. I fucked up, Brynn. I regret it more than you might ever realize. Need to atone for that, I know that.” Our hands barely touched and she nearly dropped the plate.
I didn’t need to ask again because she didn’t make me. Every night for weeks, I came home to her cooking for us. Or I called to let her know it would be my turn. Those weeks with her and my daughter, they changed everything. I thought I wanted Brynn, and I did. What we found during those weeks, though, I wanted it more than I could have known.
Coming home to her and Amelia, it changed me explicitly. I ripped down a brick or two every single night as we laughed and talked. Flirted and misbehaved with each other. I was building something for us with those bricks.
It was about more than how her laugh made me want to laugh, or how good she looked with my daughter. How Amelia adored her and how good I felt when she looked at me with that softness in her bright green eyes. It was how she fit in my world as if the spot beside me had been waiting for a Brynn-sized piece.
It was all of that and so much more; but Brynn wasn’t ready to admit it and I knew that.
“Don’t do this if you can’t stick with us, baby.”I warned one night in the midst of a hot Game of Thrones and Chill session.
I almost took her on the couch like a teenager trying to get laid before his parents made it home. After weeks of flirting, laughing together, pushing each other just to the edge, we nearly plunged over it. Until I made her think about what was on the other side, if we took that plunge.
Brynn promised me it was about theso much more, about the three of us, and I knew it was a lie. Knew that she might mean it right then, right in the heat of the moment, but that she would break that promise. Not because she wanted to hurt me or Amelia.
Brynn thought she'd have to break her promise to protect us.
It just made me crazier about her. Made me want to force her to make us more promises. Because she couldn't break them all. And my girl thought she had to break them because she thought I had no clue she was hiding things. Of course, I knew.
Brynn lying proved just one thing. That we meant enough to her for her to keep lying. To keep making those promises. Because we meant everything to her, and she was doing what she thought she could to protect us. Brynn had quickly grown to mean everything to me, too. She and Amelia had become my life.
“I will do whatever it takes to come home to her. To you.”I had promised that night after a terrible call that shook me to my core.
“I know you will, baby. I know you will. Amelia gives you a reason to be safe. To think about her first.”Brynn had cradled me in bed, and it wasn't about sex or need or want.
“I thought about you both tonight. I can't think of losing you. Either of you.”Brynn didn't promise me then, but I could see it in her eyes, in the softness that lit them up that she wanted to.
No promises were made, but plenty was said. About her, about me, about Amelia. About us. Brynn held me and made me believe for the first time in ages that I would be okay. That I could have something real. Then we slept together like we had done it a dozen times before.
