Page 75 of Burn It Down
15
Gigi looked damn good in my bed. I woke up with her tangled around me just the way I liked it. Wanted to wake up to her every fucking day, forever. That was the plan. Because I fucking loved her. Now, I knew she fucking loved me too.
The dirt of my past had been dug up that night at the pub. Gigi made us both bury it after. Literally. We talked late into the night, me pouring my heart out while she cried.
Fuck, I cried too. I was disgusted. Gigi loved me, despite it. Maybe because of that dirt; because she knew what had driven me to it. Then, in the snow, she drug me outside.
“It’s like three am, and its freezing. I kind of want to be inside, buried in you. I love you. So much. Why do you want me to do this?”
Gigi had taken me to that pub to give me her love. I beat her to it because I was terrified. Couldn’t wait another second to tell her. That fucking pub and the dirty shit I did there forced my hand.
Before I could drink there, even one last time, I had to let her know. Later, we stood in the snow, shot glasses, coasters and anything else from my place with O’Malley’s on it at our feet.
“It’s symbolic. Just for us, Finn. Bury it all. Then, we go inside without a trace of that place clinging to us. To our future.” It was symbolic of so much more and I knew it.
Besides, when she started talking about our future, her eyes lit up. Bright green with hints of blue. Made my chest seize and my dick get hard. I would bury whatever she asked of me. Anything to make her happy; to make her forget my past. To make her focus on the future I wanted with her.
We buried it all, and Gigi gave a mock eulogy of the Finn Cooper I was burying with it. The whore who fucked women because he didn’t have the balls to claim the one he wanted. The one he loved. Then I scooped her up in my arms and carried her inside, both of us laughing.
I did some more burying after that.
Deep inside her, telling her how much I fucking loved her. Gigi said it back, and I felt like beating my fists at my chest when she came, screaming my name. How much she loved me. It was like nothing else we had ever shared. The smolder in those sexy eyes when I told her I loved her would never get old.
Things had been good since then, and today was going to be great. Thanksgiving with the family. It would be different this time. Charli’s family was coming. Lola, Charli and Gigi’s mouthy pixie friend, was coming.
We invited Levi and his wife, and even Hunter. It would not be different because of the company. No, this time, Gigi was mine, and the entire world knew it.
It was also different because later, Charli and I had shopping to do. Not the black Friday bullshit she and Gigi had been planning like professionals. Charli was going ring shopping with me. I was locking Gigi down the moment I found the right ring.
Actually, I was waiting till Christmas; I wanted to propose out on the deck at her parents’ place. The same place I think we both realized what he had was special.
That it had changed and become something we never could have expected. I knew I wanted her before then, but I thought that night I could love her.
“Wake up, Sweet Girl. Need to head to the Lake, Gigi.” Gigi was not a morning person, and coffee would be necessary.
When I got nothing but grumbles as she tried to cuddle in closer, I laughed. Kissing her face, I tugged away and headed to make her coffee. Gigi whispered my name, my chest squeezing, but didn’t stir. Fuck, I loved her.
I heard a soft knock at the door just as I was turning on the coffee maker. Frowning, I crossed to the door, cracking it just a little. Fury burned through me when I saw who was on the other side. I didn’t even bother asking. Didn’t care what the answer might be.
“Get. The. Fuck. Off.Our. Doorstep, Bree.” Anger rocketed through me, shuddering my entire body.
“Good morning to you too, handsome. I was in the neighborhood…” As if my words suddenly penetrated, her made up face frowned.
“Wedon’t want you here. Ever again. You won’t be talking to Gigi. You won’t be hurting her. I see your fucking face near her again, I swear to God…. your lies didn’t work before. They won’t work again.” Something flickered in her face, and I thought she finally got it. She wasn’t going to win this one.
“Lies? Baby, I never lie. You realizethat, you might find out Gigi doesn’t forgive so easily. I certainly did.” I glared at her through the crack in the door, disgusted.
“I never fucking touched you. I never wanted you. Me, you, we’re no good for her. Difference is: Gigi loves me, and I actually love her. You don’t know what love is. Because of that, Gigi will always choose me.” Pain sliced through her face but I didn’t care. She deserved it.
“Never touched me? You sure about that? Think real hard; I know there’s a lot of pussy fogging your fucking brain. Promise you won’t like the answer you come up with. Tell Gigi to call me once you both figure the truth out. Happy Holidays, baby.” I slammed the door in her face and twisted to fall back against it.
I never touched her. I kicked her out both times she tried. Bree had always been flirtatious, saying dirty shit she thought was sexy. I never responded, even if Gigi wasn’t around. My loyalty to Gigi would not let me consider Bree an option. I loved her too much to hurt her like that.
I know I never touched her. Standing there, listening to the coffee bubble feet away, I started to panic. Had I touched her? There were some weeks after Gigi walked out that I couldn’t entirely remember. I had been alone, though. Mostly at the station. Before then, I had always kept my distance.
Except, I knew I got wasted at the pub some nights and left with women I didn’t know. Ones I couldn’t remember. Not their faces or what we did. Jesus, fuck. Did I fuck my woman’s best friend in the midst my fucked up pussy overdosing?
Fuck.
