Page 73 of Burn It Down
Purring this against my ear, he kissed my lobe where the key earrings he’d given me hung, then my neck where the necklace that matched it rested.
Lifting my wrist, he kissed the tender inside, eyes watching me. Heat coiled through me and my thighs clenched. Just as I was about to be inappropriate, I heard Cage and Charli behind me.
“We ready to go?” Cage shoved playfully at the two of us and we both nodded.
Following them out to Charli's massive truck, both Finn and Cage played perfect gentleman. Held our hands in the snow, helped us up into the truck. I don't doubt Cage got as grabby with Charli as Finn did with me.
Finn took my hand, lacing our fingers together, and brought it to his lips. Kissing each fingertip, he shot me that panty soaking smile as we headed through the streets of Chicago.
When we pulled up in front of O'Malley's, Finn frowned over at me. I could feel the tension filling up the cab of the truck. I gave his hand a squeeze and mirrored his earlier move. I kissed his hand, right over the tattoo with the “G”. Finn let out a sigh as we all climbed out and headed in.
There was a valid reason we chose to come here tonight. Not just for Finn and I; Charli wanted to bid the place fucking adieu as well. Mostly, though, it was to wash away what this place meant for Finn. I took a page out of Cage's book. Cage did all he could to rid Charli of the painful memories of her past.
I was here to basically do the same for Finn. I couldn't erase the women he had buried himself in, all in pain and desperation. But, I could untangle the memories of this place, and what it came to mean, from us and our future. Perhaps the words I gave him tonight would be enough to erase the stigma of the place for him.
“Gigi…I don’t think…” Finn hesitated just at the threshold of the bar.
Charli and Cage had headed in, Finn holding the door open after them. He would not move. Would not step inside as I waited on the other side. Finn looked terrified.
Tonight, I would ask him to tell me the details I never thought I wanted. Not specifics, not names or faces. Just the truth. I wanted to wash us both clean of it for good.
“Baby, come here.” I crooked a finger at him, but his eyes were panicked.
“I hate this fucking place.” Finn growled, surprising me as his eyes sparkled in the dim light.
“Oh, baby.” Moving closer but staying inside, I realized I was going to have to give him incentive.
“Why do you want to come here tonight? You know what this place is.” I sighed and laced my fingers behind his neck.
“I do. Do you want to come here after tonight? With the boys or even Cage? Pick up a few badge bunnies, perhaps?” Finn growled, both hands dropping to cup my ass.
“No. Fucking. Way. You’re mine and that’s it. I don’t want someone else, Gigi. Why we doing this right now?” Smiling, I touched my nose to his as I slowly backed up.
“You positive, Finn? Totally, without a doubt, you don’t want to experience this life now? Look at how pretty. Lots of options.”
My head tilted to a corner where a table full of lovely, scantily clad women sat. Waiting. Watching the many men in uniform come and go. Hoping one of them got noticed and chosen for the night. For longer, if they could manage it. Finn never even looked away.
“Never more positive of anything in my fucking life. Minute I saw that sign, I felt dirty, sick. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to ever be here again. Why you doing this, Gigi?” Finn sounded desperate, his hands crushing me to him.
“Tonight, later, I need some answers. Ones I expect might hurt us both. I need them, though; we both do. Then, that thing you feel right now,” I pressed my face against his chest, hearing his heart thunder, “That thing I felt for so long, it doesn’t affect us after tonight.” I tipped away, and Finn took a deep breath, cupping my face.
“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Gigi. I can’t stand the thought of me without you. Can’t even imagine what that might feel like. It’s always been us, even when it wasn’t. When I thought it shouldn’t be.” Tears slid from my eyes before his thumbs swiped them away.
“Come here. One drink. One last drink, Finn.” Before I could continue, he lowered his head and kissed me.
Standing right there in the center of the pub, he kissed me for all the eyes to see. Finn beat me at my own game. I intended to stake my claim somehow tonight. Finally say the words I knew we both needed to hear said.
We had gravitated towards the center of the room, and I could hear the noise of the bar. Low rock music, the clink of ice hitting glass, the hum of the fluorescent signs along the far wall.
Then, I could hear nothing. Could not sense the smoky air or the smell of grease from the kitchen. I could only taste his sweet flavor, always a hint of smoke. Fire.
Finn tasted like home. This thing between us tasted like it could burn us down to the ground. I would welcome it as long as we were together. Lifting his head, we were both breathing hard, staring at each other. The lights were dim, but I could see it in his eyes.
Before I could say it or he could, the bar erupted. Hoots, whistles, even some applause. I twisted to glance around, flushing bright red if my hot skin were any indication.
Cage and Charli stood just feet away, leaning against the bar. Cage winked at me; tears blurred the vision before I heard Finn talking. The jerk took my plan right out of my hands.
“Never getting another show like that out of me,” His deep timbre quieted the crowd, “that was the curtain call, folks. No more Finn drowning his sorrows with faces he can’t remember. Because I always saw her face. None of you could ever take her fucking place. Never. I'm done pretending I'm a good enough man to care how fucking unworthy I am of her. Because I am. Gigi Cooper is it for me,” Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Cage and Charli move closer.
