Page 48 of Burn It Down
“Might even be the fourth. I hurt you too. I know we’re not golden yet,” I coined his phrase from earlier, “but…I mean, are we…us?” Finn touched his nose to mine and yanked me against him.
“I was never not a part of the us that is you and me. Even if it looked like it. Felt like it. The night you walked out on me, I knew I deserved it. I didn’t tell Cage you were mine; that I didn’t care what they had to say. Then I didn’t fight for you. Because I didn’t deserve you. I don’t, Gigi. We both know that. When you moved in, I thought we might try again. We didn’t deal with our shit. We just picked up where we had left off. With me fucking you into needing me.” Finn’s fingers slid into the hair at the back of my head, and he tilted it back.
“I mean, I don’t mind the fucking me into needing you. I’d be lying if I said I did.” Finn growled, grabbing great big handfuls of my backside and lifting me against him as I giggled.
“Come on, Sweetheart. I need to get you out of the cold. Your surprise awaits.” Finn smirked down at me, and the light behind his beautiful eyes lit me with love.
Keeping me close, he steered me to his running blazer parked just down the block. With more hands than necessary on my ass, he lifted me into the passenger seat. Finn hesitated, like he wanted to say something.
His mouth even opened, just to close again. I reached a hand out, tracing my hand over his face, fingers lingering at his thick beard. Finn sighed and turned to press his mouth to my wrist.
Then he closed the door and rounded to the driver side. It was cozy and warm inside, and smelled like Finn. Before he climbed in, I breathed deep and filled my lungs with him.
When he did climb in, he was quiet, but seemed excited. His big hands strummed on the steering wheel, his knee bounced, and he was smiling widely. As we drove, I laughed and reached over, taking his hand.
Finn wove our fingers together, then shoved our laced hands between my thighs. We drove in peace for a while. The kind of peace that lovers who are comfortable with each other share. That peace that I only ever felt with Finn. I could be stressed and questioning my future, but he made it better.
Finn centered me and made me focus on what mattered. He was my compass, guiding me towards the good in my life. The heartache came with the way he completed me; the way he left me feeling wanted and good and special.
Soon, I realized where we were headed, and I bounced in my seat a little. The city was blanketed in a covering of snow, and the lights twinkled in the night sky. It was beautiful, and Finn was taking me to one of my favorite spots.
Auburn Park.
It would be beautiful like this, and I realized he was trying to be romantic. I almost laughed when my fidgeting caused him to be very unromantic; his fingers loosened enough to wiggle against my sex.
“Sit still. I might want to punish you more than you need punishing so don’t give me reason to.” I whimpered a little when his fingers worked slow, hard circles at my clit through my jeans.
“Finn…don’t tease.” I did laugh when he punched the brakes at a stop sign, his fingers growing aggressive.
“Oh, Sweetheart. Better be careful with that sexy mouth. Been awhile since I had it around me; I might bring that mouth over here while I’m driving, yeah?” I moaned at the idea, and Finn chuckled that sexy laugh, his fingers circling harder then stopping when my hips lifted.
“Finn!” Again, he laughed, and my pussy ate it up, throbbing in response to the sound.
Finn just winked at me. I loved this. I loved the good parts. I loved that there were more of those than bad. Finn parked and rushed around to get my door, making me laugh again.
Hooking his arm over my back, he brought me snug to his side. Before we walked away, he grabbed a black bag out of the back. My curiosity was piqued, but I was reveling in the feel of his warmth holding me close.
“Hmm, I like this. It’s fucked up sometimes and we make it so complicated. I can take all the shit in between for moments like this. You make me feel shit I didn’t even know existed, Sweetheart.” Well, damn; Finn was good at the sweet stuff when he tried.
“The parts between, when we don’t talk or I’m hurt or you are. It’s the hardest moments of my life. I feel like I can’t breathe. Like I can’t find a reason to try to breathe.” Tears cold and heavy stung my eyes, but Finn’s lips were there.
“No more between. I can’t stand not breathing right either. You’re my reason to breathe, Gigi. I want you to figure out who you want to be. I want to find out how to be part of whoever that is. I won’t walk away again,” We had walked to one of the bridges, and he pinned me against the rail, “I won’t force you to call us anything till you’re ready. You’ve got the key to my cock, but it’s to every fucking part of me, Gigi. My story hasn’t changed. You’re my woman. That’s all I want. I’m your man, whether you want me or not.” I smiled into his full mouth as he breathed all this against my lips.
“Do you plan to figure out who you want to be?” I teased him a few times that he was just a firefighter because of Cage. I think I knew better now.
“I know who I want to be. A firefighter alongside Cage Cooper. Because that’s my fucking brother, and I love him. Being his partner makes me a better man. I want to be your man, Gigi Cooper. For as long as you’ll fucking have me. You’re the most important thing I’ve ever had, and you make me want to be the best man I can be.” I couldn’t breathe. My chest tightened as I stared up at him in the snow.
“Finn Cooper. Will you help me find out who I want to be?” Tears wet the corners of my eyes because I wanted to say something amazing back. Maybe tell him I loved him.
“Exactly what I intend to do. One thing I want you to be is my woman. We’ll figure out the rest of you, Sweetheart. To help you withthat, I got a surprise for you. Come here, first. I haven’t held you in too fucking long.” I laughed, but it was full of emotion as I fell against his massive chest.
Finn held me there on the snow-covered bridge with flakes falling around us and lights strung up in the trees. I nestled into his chest, and he hooked both arms around my shoulders.
Mine shoved to fit beneath his and hook onto his muscled traps. I rubbed my face against the soft cotton of his thermal and breathed deep his scent. Fire and leather, with a hint of sweet cigar smell.
“Mmm, you smell good too, baby.” I let him tuck my legs between his as we moved with the blowing wind.
“You feel so good. Come on, though. I got you something special, Sweetheart.” Finn leaned away, but my fingers curled into his muscles and held.
