Page 42 of Burn It Down
“Bro-seph, I’d be more worried about talking to Gwen than Deacon. Good luck with that.” I froze and they were pulling away from the home we’d saved before I began running after them.
“Shit! Gwen!” How had I forgotten mama bear?
Two days later, I asked that again as I stood on their doorstep, nervous as shit, with my heart thundering. I was about to tell the closest thing I had to parents that I was in love with their daughter. Well, that I had basically always been in love with their daughter. Their baby.Fuck me.
Gwen threw open the door with a bowl of cookie dough in one hand and wine in the other. Her bright smile reminded me so much of Gigi. Damn, I had that to look forward to.
I loved her like a mother, but Gwen was hot as shit for being a mom of four kids. That would always be my little secret. I couldn’t wait to come home to someone like Gwen every single day.
“Afternoon, Gwen.” Gwen peered up at me, then she lit in a wide smirk and tilted her head to invite me in.
“Long time, my sweet boy. Figure something important had you drag your ass out here. Might it involve one of my children? Perhaps not the one I am used to discussing with you?” I paused at the threshold of the kitchen before she nodded to the stools sitting at the bar.
“Yes, ma’am. I don’t, uh…I don’t know where to start.” Gwen sat down her wine and shoved the cookie dough at me.
“Start with balls.” When my jaw hit the counter, she laughed and showed me what she meant, “Perfect little balls make perfect little cookies, Finn. Making cookies for some of the kids at work. Gluten free, sugar free. I don’t suggest tasting them.” Her bright green eyes sparkled and I sighed, knowing the task was to set me at ease.
“Balls. Gwen…I spent too long hiding the most important fucking thing I’ve ever felt. For selfish reasons. For reasons tangled up with my own shit. I don’t deserve the kind of family I’ve earned by being Cage’s friend. I never knew…the way you guys love is something out of a fucking fairytale. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Until I knew what it felt like, what it looked like to be in love with Gigi. I love her, Gwen. I have for longer than I should have.” I reached for the wine she shoved my way, swallowing the sweet red down in one gulp.
“Gigi loves chocolate chip. I made her some for you to take to her.” I blinked at her, glancing between my hands rolling cookie balls and her smiling face.
“Uh…yes, she loves chocolate chip. I mean but, she prefers your oatmeal raisin because she always got the whole batch.” Gwen laughed, soft and airy, and I just watched.
“Oh, Finn. Yes, Gigi prefers my oatmeal raisin. Because she is different than the others. Always was. I love that she is so different. That she has no clue who the fuck she wants to be.” My brows shot up, and she hummed around a swallow of wine, “You love her for all the same reasons. Because she is just Gigi. Oh, she is Deacon’s daughter and the girls’ baby sister. Cage’s little shadow. Know something you don’t know?” I nodded as she hovered the wine over my glass, then took it after she topped it off.
“Gigi was always just Gigi. Until one day. I know exactly when it happened, but we might save that for another chat, yeah? Those pretty dual colored eyes looked at you one day, and she was not Gigi anymore. She wasyourGigi. Now, she didn’t change for you, and she never will. Gigi just aligned herself to be part of your life because that’s what she wanted. Because she loves you. I know you love her, my handsome boy.” Another gulp, and my heart was racing in my chest.
“You…you uh, you knew? How long did you know?” I flushed when she laughed again and twisted to pop the perfect little balls of cookie dough into her oven.
“The night of her graduation,” Gwen twisted back and dusted her hands on her apron that read ‘My Fireman Starts My Fire’, “Gigi was frustrated and lost, and you soothed her. I watched you out on that deck with her, and I knew you would slice your own throat before you would watch her be miserable. If you could help it. You loved her more than you loved yourself. Sharing your swinging dick with every girl who looked like her kind of clued us in too, handsome boy.” Gwen made me blush like only she could.
“I thought…I tried to get her out of my system. Gigi deserves fucking everything and I just…” Gwen tipped my wine glass up, and I nearly choked.
“You might want you to be wasted for me to buy that line of shit, Finn Cooper. Your family may be heathens. You are notthem. You never were. You are agoodman. A man I’m very proud I got to watch grow up and become who you are. Gigi loved you, flaws and all. Just like you love her. Gigi is not perfect, though I’m pleased you love her enough to think she is.” I smiled around my wine because fuck yes, I thought she was perfect.
“You risk your life every day because it’s what makes sense to you. You would give your life for my son. You love this family and would do anything for us. It breaks my heart you don’t see what a good man you truly are. Doesn’t matter. Gigi does. You hurt her, and my mama bear instincts suggest I shred you. If I didn’t think hurting her is absolute torture for you, we’d be having a different conversation, Finn. I love that you love her this much. To drink cheap wine and make cookies with her mother.” Once again, a member of the Cooper family had me overwhelmed with emotion.
“Here to ask for Gigi’s hand in marriage?” Deacon’s voice boomed from behind me, and I almost spilled my wine.
Deacon stepped in front of Gwen, ignoring me while he greeted his wife. The man looked at her like they were teenagers in love and nothing else existed. I hoped in forty years to look at my woman like that. Because that’s what I felt for her.
That brief time I’d had her at my place day and night, had been a happiness I had never known. To come home to her and leave her in the morning; it was like nothing else. I wanted it for the rest of my fucking life. Gigi felt like home, something I had never had before.
“Actually,” I cleared my throat, and they both spun to watch me, “At the moment, it’s a bit presumptuous. But, yes, Deacon. Sir, I want to marry Gigi. I love her, and I want her to be my wife. When I fix the shit I fucked up.” I rolled my eyes at myself; leave it up to me to fumble asking for Gigi’s hand in marriage.
Instead of panicking over what I had just said, or wondering about all the pussy marriage would cost me, I realized something. I was calm. Calm in a way I had never experienced. My mind raced with questions and doubts all the time.
Sitting there with two of the most influential people in my life, having asked for their little girl’s hand in marriage, I was calm as a cucumber. Or some such shit. Peace settled over me when they smiled, and Deacon crossed towards me.
“You absolutely have my blessing, Finn. I love you like a son; might as well make it official, yeah?”
Something passed between us as he put a heavy hand on my shoulder, and I had to look away from the affection on their faces. Jesus, Cooper love was no fucking joke. They loved with every part of them and made no bones about showing you. It was sometimes too much, but I would never turn away from it again.
“Thank you, sir. Your family is why I’m standing here today. Not in a jail with my brothers, or high on the streets with my sisters. I love all of you. Just love one of you a lot more.” They both beamed at me as Deacon slid his arm around Gwen.
“Now, to get Gigi talking to you again.” Deacon laughed, and I sighed because I had done it but good this time.
“Well, I’m going to ply her with Gwen’s cookies. Then I’m going to do everything in my fucking power to stop fucking up. I won’t hurt her again, Deacon. I promise.” Gwen shoved a container of cookies my way and shot me a wink.
