Page 41 of Burn It Down
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I listened to be sure when my woman sent her date home. I knew she didn’t bring him back to her place to let him have her. Just to torture me. Which it fucking did.
I totally deserved it, especially when she found Bree at my doorstep. The girl was basically begging to ride my cock. Just to hurt Gigi. Once we figured us out, Bree was out of the picture; I wouldn't let her hurt Gigi again.
Lying in bed, I thought about our talk in the snow. Gigi loved the snow. I never did, until a few years ago, when I watched her tip her face back and welcome it. Her tongue out to catch flakes on the tip.
Fuck, not only was it the most beautiful sight I had ever seen, I had to jerk off in her parents’ bathroom to get my cock to go down. Tonight had been just as beautiful. I was a mess because I had basically been stalking her for two weeks.
I liked to see her work at the coffee shop. It was cute the way she talked with customers and made them fall in love with her. Except the suits who wanted a piece of her sweet ass.
They ordered shit they didn’t even drink just to watch her ass work behind the counter. I might take up drinking coffee if she was my barista too. What I didn’t like was how pushy her pretty professor was.
I’d seen enough after her kissed the side of her mouth and crushed her to him yesterday. They had innocent lunches and he touched her too much, and she didn’t like it. I could see in her eyes she compared his touch to mine. Every single time.
I had all I needed to know when she told me to fuck her on the street tonight. I would have. I would have lifted her skirt and drove deep inside her pussy if I didn’t know she was hurting. That I had made her hurt. I was done making her hurt.
Instead, I told the truth. I had brought plenty women home right in front of her, even when I knew she wanted me. Since her birthday, when I’d heard some truth too, I hadn’t touched a single one of them.
Well, that’s a lie. I let one of them, who looked enough like her for me to fake it, swallow my cock. I came all over her tits and called her Gigi. Never heard from her again.
The night Gigi turned 21, I knew I was falling in love with her. I think I always had been, but that night confirmed it. It was several months ago, and we had taken her out to celebrate.
My resistance was paper thin, and when she danced and touched me, I almost told her I wanted her. When I took her home in a cab because the others got wasted, she curled into me as I held her. I laid in her bed at her dorm and took care of her. It was the best fucking night of my life, and Gigi had no idea.
“I hate you. Because I want you and you don’t want me. Why don’t you want me, Finn?”
I always wanted her; that night, more than ever. She let me put her in bed in her panties and bra, and it took everything not to show her how wrong she was.
“Oh, Gigi. You don’t want me. I’m just Cage’s bro. Makes it easy. Safe.” Gigi rolled over, exposing her full breasts and creamy skin, and glared up at me.
“Nothing about how I feel about you is safe. Or easy. I love you, Finn Cooper, and you don’t even know I exist.” My entire world shifted on its axis.
“Gigi, Sweet Girl, hush. You’re drunk. Drunks love everyone.” My chest was tight and tears stung my eyes; could she really love me?
“Not drunk. Maybe a little. Still love you, Finn. Drunk or sober. Sad or happy. I love you, and I will always love you. I want you, but you don’t want me, and it hurts. Still love you. Always love you.” I held her closer than I should have and stayed all night. Before I snuck out at dawn, I said three words.
“Always love you.” They were pressed into the back of her neck before I forced myself to let her go.
All this time later, and I never had the guts to say it to her. Even when she needed to hear it. Instead, I hid and lied, and I tried to keep this hot, powerful thing we had to myself. Because I feared once it became real, the fire would die out and love would become something watered down. Tame.
I didn’t want tame with my woman. I wanted wild fucking where she screamed my name and I punished her for trying to come without me. Now, I knew the pain and the heartache; the love and need would never be tame between us. It burned too hot and too bright, and I had been too scared to let it breathe.
This thing between us burned hot enough that it didn’t matter if I was a fuck up that could never deserve her. Didn’t matter that Gigi didn’t know who she wanted to be yet. Gigi wanted me, and I fucking wanted her. Just as flawed and imperfect as she was right now. I didn’t care if it burned us to the fucking ground.
“Cage, I am in love with your sister, and I want to marry her someday.” Cage spun from watching Hunter and Levi, back for his first call, battle a stove engulfed in flames.
“What!?” It seemed like as good a time as any to tell him I was going to be his family for real. Cage maybe didn’t agree.
“I love Gigi. I’ve been in love with Gigi since I was nineteen. I think she loves me too, but I might have fucked shit up. I want to be with her. I want toalwaysbe with her. I want to date her and make her love me again, and do shit she deserves. Then someday, I want to marry her. I won’t ever want someone else, Cage. I haven’t really ever wanted anyone else. I love her.” We stepped away when it was clear they had it in hand, Cage shoving his mask up to glare up at me.
“You asking for my blessing, dick?” I started to bristle before I saw his dimple flashing as he fought a smile.
“Fuck yes! Deacon’s next. I love her, Cage. So fucking much.” Emotion poured over me as I tipped my head to the skies emptying snow on us, “I don’t want to lose you or your family, but she’s a fuckova lot more important. I think that’s another reason I didn’t come clean. I love her enough to turn my back on you, but she’d never do the same and I just…” Cage laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder.
“You are a fucking idiot. Gigi thinks you hung the fucking moon. If you love her this much, stop making the both of you miserable. It makes me fucking miserable. It makes Charli miserable. Which makes me more miserable. Enough misery, Finn. Do it right this time. You have my fucking blessing, you dick. Gigi’s worth everything so you better fucking show me you know that.” I nodded and we shared a look, the emotion passing between us thicker than the fire inside.
“I’ll give her everything. I promise. Fuck…now I need to talk to Deacon.” I groaned and Cage laughed, slapping Levi’s head as they passed us headed for the truck.
