Page 4 of Burn It Down
Gigi would linger in the hall and the air would grow thick. Fuck, I wanted to touch her. Then, one night, I did. Slid my hand into the thick hair at her nape, cupping her neck. I wanted to taste her mouth; shut her up and show her I wanted her.
Before I did, I heard Cage behind her and I shoved away from her. The next night, I brought two chicks home. I didn’t fuck them, just watched them. When I sent them on their way, Gigi changed my fucking life. Before I knew what was happening, Gigi had shoved us into my place, my door slammed and she was on me.
Fuck, she tasted like cherries and vodka, but we were both stone cold sober. It was like those trashy novels I always gave her shit for reading. I had her pinned against my door, both of us tearing clothes off as she kissed me like she was angry for having to wait for so long. I was too. Then I was inside her and nothing was ever the same.
I fucked her for hours that first night, on every surface of my apartment. Gigi was loud and fuck I loved to watch her come. To feel her shudder around me, moaning my name and begging for more. I woke up with her gone after holding her all night.
Which I never fucking did.
My sheets smelled like her, and she left her sweater and took my CFD shirt. That’s how we started. Gigi did pursue me because she knew for almost two years I wanted her and would do nothing about it. Tired of waiting, she had the guts to give us what we both wanted.
I was not the same after that first night with her; Gigi didn’t ask to be exclusive, and I had never tried that shit before. After her, I never touched another woman, though. I knew Gigi deserved better than that. To be honest, Gigi took up so much of my time, and had me so satisfied I never wanted anyone else.
I knew shit was different the night I came home to find her waiting for me. Cage and I had a rough day and usually we’d get drinks or bullshit after. That night, Cage went home to Charli. All I wanted was to see Gigi. I found her waiting at my place in that CFD shirt with dinner waiting, and I knew I didn’t fucking deserve her, but I wanted her. Just her. I needed her. Gigi made me feel shit I didn’t even know I was capable of.
Before I met Cage and his family made me one of their own. Before I knew what it was like to get in a fight that didn’t end with someone walking away. Never coming back. Before I knew what it could be like to have someone look at me like I mattered.
I thought that was enough. It was more than someone like me deserved. I loved Cage like a brother, I meant that. Really though, most my life I had been using him. Using him to feel like a part of something. Part of his circle of friends, of his family, of the women that flocked to those Coopers like flies to honey.
I would do anything for Cage because he had always done for me. He’d given me shit I never knew was real. Then, I kept right on taking when I wanted Gigi. Difference was Gigi wanted me.
On the night I found her at my door, she was there for me. But for herself too. Gigi was struggling in her junior year at Loyola. At the time, she just wasn't sure who she wanted to be yet.
That night, she came to me. Not Cage or her mom or her sisters. Gigi came to me because she knew I didn’t expect her to be anything more than what she was. Because I thought everything she was, was fucking amazing.
That night, there was a shift that didn’t we didn't mention but were both aware of. Gigi talked and cried a little, and I held her while she fed me my favorite egg rolls. That she made from scratch just for me. Then she listened to me bitch about my night, and before I knew it, she was on her knees ready to suck my cock.
I didn’t let her; instead, I carried her to bed and sunk inside her for hours. Held her hands and watched her eyes as I really made her mine. I was fucking crazy about her and I didn’t want to think about losing her. Gigi didn't know who she wanted to be, but I wanted her to be mine.
The next day, I gave her a key to my place. It wasn’t awkward like I expected. It just felt right, natural even. Almost every night after that, I came home to her making us dinner and letting me eat her sweet pussy while she studied. It was more perfect than I deserved and soon I felt like it wasn’t enough.
I wanted to tell Cage. Even tried to a few times. By then, he was so fucking twisted up over Charli, I thought it might soften the blow. Charli adored Gigi and realized there was something between she and I. So, at her request, we hung out the a few times, just the four of us. Cage hated it, and Gigi did everything she could to show him we were together.
Our last night at O’Malley’s, Ariel was there and that’s when things really started to fall apart. Gigi was whispering in my ear and stroking my cock beneath the table. With Cage right there. Meanwhile, Ariel was watching Cage and Charli, and I knew it was all going to come to a head.
I was right. Soon enough, Charli found out about Ariel and she took off. This led to Cage finding me with Gigi when he needed my help. Since the night at the pub, I had been waiting to get busted. Had felt it coming. Still, to see Gigi look at me with disgust when she found out about the lies and about who I really was before her had crushed me.
Oh, Gigi knew, because she had seen it. Gigi knew the watered-down version of the fuck I was before her. Cage was telling me now just to give her time. I had told her again and again how sorry I was and how badly I missed her. Then, I just stopped.
I knew Gigi needed more than time. What I said was the truth. Gigi hated me now. Knew who I really was and what a twisted, sick fuck I could be. My second after was realizing the truth about life after Gigi.
Gigi didn’t need time. Gigi needed to stay the fuck away from me.
