Page 33 of Burn It Down
We exchanged a look, then our game faces came out and we headed into action. I checked the perimeter for civilians as Cage prepped the hoses, cracking open the nearest hydrant.
We were just heading inside, Hunter speaking with the workers clustered across the street, when glass exploded out in every direction. Fire curled towards the sky and roared through the windows. Well, it had been a small fire, at least.
Two hours later, I was showered and lying in my bunk, thinking about the fire. About how long it had taken to battle, how it just seemed to keep coming. How it seemed to flare up just when we thought it had died out.
Kind of felt like my feelings for Gigi. For years, I had battled them. Had tried to snuff them out but it had done neither of us any fucking good. We'd both halfheartedly tried to work it out of our system just to let it consume us completely.
Now, Gigi wanted someone else and I knew she was struggling with it. Or maybe she didn’t really, and she simply she wondered what it might be like. Wondered how I would feel to see her with someone else. I deserved the pain it would cause me, and we both knew it.
I shoved all those bunnies down her throat, trying to make her hate me. Make her want someone else. Something better. Without ever considering how bad it was hurting her, until it was too late.
Truth was, she had every right not to trust me. While I never wanted to hurt her, I knew I had. Bree, her slutty friend, had been coming on to me for years. For fuckingyears. Knowing the entire time that I wanted Gigi, and Gigi wanted me.
I didn’t know where I stood with Gigi, especially now. Didn’t know if I meant more to her than Bree. Just because we were fucking and talking dirty didn’t mean Gigi saw a future with me. I kind of proved to her again and again I didn’t do futures. For her, though, I wanted to.
When I gave her that key to my place, I had been saying as much. Just didn’t have the balls to actuallysay it. Now I had to consider that maybe what we had was just hot. Burning hot and fun and exciting and nothing more. This fucking pretty boy professor of hers might be what she needs. What she actually wants.
Killed me to consider that.
Because I reacted like an asshole when pain was on the horizon, I was fucking it up. Jealousy was my motive, but that was hardly an excuse. While cooking dinner for us one night, I reverted to the old Finn. Bree was there to study with Gigi and she was laying it on thick. I never responded. Until suddenly, I did.
“What are you ladies studying?” I was asking them both, but looking at Bree.
“Social science. Library science. Should be talking to Charli, huh?” The air was thick as she leaned forward on the counter, giving me a gratuitous view of her tits.
“Not exactly that kind of Science, Bree.” Beside her, Gigi did not miss the tit show or how I was pretending to enjoy it.
I wasn’t; not really. In fact, for the entire time Bree had been here, I had been miserable. Smiling at her too much, pretending her too long and too loud laughter was stroking my ego. More than once, I asked myself what the fuck I was doing. I had no answer, and I kept right on doing it.
“Whatever you are cooking smells amazing. He cooks, he saves lives, what can’t you do, Coops?” Elbows pressing together, her eyes were hooded as I looked at her tits.
The nickname was one I had never liked and hated even more when Bree used it. Made it seem like we had something that we didn’t. Gigi rolled her eyes and shot me a warning look. Then Bree asked a question about Professor Dexter, and Gigi’s face changed. Softened. My heart cracked inside my chest, and I was furious.
I know I had no right. I had no end game for whatever shit I was pulling. I knew I was hurting her. I could feel it coursing in the air between us. Could see how much Bree was enjoying my attention. How much Gigi was withering beneath the flirtations. I didn’t stop. No, of course I didn’t, because I fuck things up.
“The can do’s are much more interesting. I can sink a three pointer with ease. I can build some awesome shit with wood. I give great a massage. My hands should be considered pleasure tools. Been told the same could be said of other parts of my anatomy.” Bree giggled accordingly, and Gigi looked away from the display.
Not before I saw the glitter of tears in her eyes. Bree was talking about wanting a taste of dinner. Her innuendo was not lost on either of us. My hand faltered midway to her mouth with a taste. Bree wrapped her fingers around my wrist and made a show of closing her full lips around the meat. Still not even a twinge in my dick. Nothing.
“Mmm, that’s delicious.” Her lite eyes gave away just what she meant and I cringed.
Without a word, Gigi stood up, gathered her things, and headed for the door. Bree’s eyes lit up and she licked her lips, but I was focused on Gigi. Panic flared through me like a creeping vine wrapping around my chest. Around my throat. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t stop her.What the fuck was I doing?
“Sweetheart, where do you think you’re going?” My voice was not as confident as that question sounded.
“Just thought I’d let the two of you get on with it. Figure the last remnants of decency the two of you possess could break at any moment. Not into a threesome, although it didn’t really feel like I was invited exactly.” Gigi was out the door, crossing the hall and trying to slam her door in my face.
“Baby, don’t be ridiculous. I’d invite you to a threesome.” Gigi moved lightning fast because I didn’t see it, but I felt the crack of her hand across my face.
“Fuck you. Or I mean, go fuck Bree. Been wanting to all night. Maybe this entire fucking time, yeah?” I didn’t want Bree, I never had, but I was hurt and angry.
“What about you? You want your fucking pretty boy professor, yeah?” The look on her face confirmed it; my heart felt like her fist had closed around it before she ripped it out.
“You know what, yeah. I just might. Don’t know what it’s like to want someone else. I ought to try, yeah? Might like how it feels to matter to someone. To know they want just me. That they would never fucking do what you just did to me. What you have always done to me. Fuck you, Finn. Consider your cock unlocked, baby.”
“I fucking knew you wanted that pretty fuck,” I hollered, pacing the hallway between our places, “Bet you were thinking about him when I was inside you. Right after he told you he wanted you. You thought about all the nice places he can take you, all the smart shit the two of you can do together, yeah? Fuck you too, Gigi. I saw it in those pretty eyes. I was deep inside you and you were thinking about someone else. Just to fucking hurt me. So, fuck you too.” Gigi flushed red and it ripped my heart open. Until I said it, I hadn’t been sure it was true, but now I knew it was.
“Get out. Go. I fucking hate you!” Tears stung my eyes because I knew right then, she really did.
