Page 13 of Burn It Down
Then I got a chance with Gigi, and I thought, well shit, it must be a Cooper thing. Maybe not, though; maybe it was a Dixon thing. Or a Holmes thing; Gwen sure had done a number on Deacon. The same could be said of Charli and Cage.
Maybe the magic was not in the Coopers, but the people they found. This made sense, since I had no magic to offer Gigi.
“Here, sober up before we talk.” Charli sat on the couch across from me, tucking her long legs beneath her.
“Holy shit,” I winced at the strong coffee she brewed us, “you do not play around. Look…thanks for earlier. I swear to God I had no plans to bring them home. Or anywhere else.” Charli smiled as she stirred her coffee, taking a long sip; strong shit didn’t even make her flinch.
“Finn, I know better. I saw you falling for Gigi right in front of our eyes. Cage refused to see it. Gigi refuses to believe it. The Coopers have some kind of magic about them, huh?” I laughed because she had basically read my thoughts.
“I was just thinking that. But actually, I think it’s you. Gwen. Parker and Miles too. They just have the right thing for the Coopers. It just works. Now me, on the other hand...” I trailed off and took a long pull of the hot coffee. I needed to clear my head and that cup of Joe was bound to do it.
“You too, Finn. I was watching Gigi fall for you too, you thick headed idiot. How Cage didn’t see the stars in that girl's eyes when she looked at you, I can’t fathom. Or how you look at her like she’s the only girl in the room. It’s pretty embarrassing, actually.” Charli giggled and I found myself joining in. Damn, I really could see why Cage had been hooked so fast.
“Well, I had something good. I should have had the balls to tell Cage. To talk to Deacon. Because lord knows he’s got to be pleased as punch I defiled his little girl.” Charli shot me a long look that shut me up, and the coffee I sipped burnt my throat.
“Finn. Now, after you spent so damn long showing the world what a man you are, you turn into a pussy? Maybe I should have let you and the titty twins have a threesome; show the bar some girl on girl ongirlaction, no?” Well, fuck. I wanted to be pissed about her mouth, but I just liked her more.
“Shit, Charli Doll. Tell me what you really think. Don’t hold back on account of my broken fucking heart.” Charli let out a snort and yanked my coffee out of my hand, spilling half of it on my hand.
“Grow up. You broke your own fucking heart. Gigi’s too. Unlike you wearing your pain on your massive bicep, Gigi is tucking it away. Our girl is just not the same. Gigi laughs too loud, too often. Talks less than normal, which we both know is proof positive she's struggling. Every single time I see her she has just finished crying or is about to start. The girl is a fucking wreck. Which means your magic fucking worked, even if you were too God damned blind to see it. Now. Tell me, Magic Man. What exactly do we do about fixing two broken hearts?” I sighed and laid my head back, fighting still more fucking tears.
“Charli Doll.…I am, without a doubt, in too deep over Gigi. I am absolutely, categorically crazy about her. For years, I wanted her. Wanting her was not nearly as bad as having her. I am not the same man I was before her. I am absolutely wrecked. I get what you want to do here. I fucking love that you’re so amazing, and if Cage hadn’t snatched you up first, I just might have, Charli Dixon. Truth is, I can’t let myself hurt her again. I don’t know how not to. I fuck shit up, Charli. It’s what I do.” It was true.
Though I was a good firefighter, and I loved it, I fucked up as much as I did well. If I didn’t have Cage there, my fuck ups might outnumber the kids and kittens rescued. I didn’t think shit through the way he did. Or if I did, I never trusted the answers. Cage just acted. Just did what he thought he should.
I didn’t trust myself that way. How could I let myself do that to Gigi? I could ruin her more than I already had. I’d spent so much of our time together lying and doubting we had a future. Wondering what the hell that even meant. Gigi didn’t, and when I saw that, I wanted to give her fucking everything.
Instead, I lied and hid shit even more. Fuck, I wanted one of the Coopers to catch us. Needed the chance to see if I was man enough to claim Gigi when it mattered. The night we got caught, when it absolutely mattered, I proved us both right. I fucked it up.
“Finn, come talk to me once you grow a pair, princess. Till then, I better not see you with another woman. Hell hath no fury, and all that shit. Night, handsome.”
Then Charli was gone. Just like Cage and Gigi. I was alone, and the ache I was fighting to contain burned through me bright and fiery.
