Page 111 of Beautiful Secrets
We’re making love, and it is the most glorious thing I’ve ever felt.
I don’t ever want it to end.
But we both know it must.
We can pretend at forever as much as we want—but this moment is fleeting. It cannot last. Itwillnot last.
Maybe that is what makes it so special.
40
Cole
Ishould have shaved. Why haven’t I? I used to do it every morning at Blackmoore. Part of my ritual. Guess there’s an adjustment period. Have to work out a new routine. Got to take a hard look at my life, figure out what the fuck I’m doing with it.
I wish more than anything that new life included Mika in some way, but when she fell asleep for the last time last night, I lay awake for hours and couldn’t come up with a single thing I could do to keep her at my side.
I did have a different epiphany, though. It’s…well, to say it’s dangerous is putting it lightly.
But I’ve already lived a full and happy life. It’s time for Mika to do the same. If anyone deserves it, it’s her.
I already messaged Derek, got the drop off location from him. We have to leave in the next ten minutes or we might be late.
We can’t be late.
Mika comes out of the bathroom, running her hand through her hair. I wonder if that’s all she ever does to tame it, or if she would be using a brush if she had one.
Somehow, I doubt it.
She’s as wild as a spring hare, my little rabbit.
Christ, I’m going to miss her.
Problem is, I have no idea if she feels the same way. Like me, she’s not one to wear her heart on her sleeve. And I respect that. In our line of business, that kind of shit gets you killed.
“Ready?”
She gives me a tiny nod and watches intently as I put on my suit jacket. I pat my pocket to check everything is still where I left it, and her eyes flutter away guiltily.
I’m not sure if I’m surprised that she didn’t leave, or surprised that she stayed. It says something, but fuck knows what.
Either way, I don’t want to think about it.
I’ve made up my mind. I refuse to let stray thoughts derail me.
The innkeeper isn’t around, so I leave our room key on the top of the reception table. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy to screw me over—especially since we didn’t bug him again during our stay—so I hope he releases the hold he put on my credit card last night when I told him I wanted to stay the night.
I shell out a few notes and leave them tucked under the key before leading Mika out into the crisp morning.
It seems wrong that the sun is out in all its glory—clouds would have suited my mood better. But I get a glimpse of Mika turning up to bathe her face in the morning light, her pale hair sparkling, and suddenly it’s all fucking worth it.
Everything.
Even Blackmoore.
It makes my heart want to explode, just this one moment, but I force away the sentimentality and head for the car. Mika takes a second to realize I’ve moved ahead, but hurries to catch up when she sees me holding the car door open for her.
“Seat belt,” I say, as I get into the driver’s seat.
