Page 75 of Ripped & Shipped
“Dating!” I shake my head, lightly gasping for breath between my laughter.
“Me and him!” I keep giggling and point at Chris.
I’m the only one laughing.
I start to regain composure, but then I lift my eyes, look straight at Chris, and I start laughing again.
“Man, you are good for my ego,” he says with a smile. Yes, girls.Thesmile. That’s the smile. The one that sends my internal organs on a level-five roller coaster ride. Only because he’s such eye-candy, nothing more than that. But man, oh man, that smile.
* * *
Saturday, I wake to the sun coming through my bedroom window, and the first thought I have is that Chris St. James is my fake boyfriend.
Chris St. James.
My boyfriend.
Fake. Of course. Totally fake.
After I fell apart laughing, the pizza arrived. The four of us hung out eating and talking as if Chris usually just comes over for a meal. What is my life?
He hung around so we could figure out some details. He has to come paint the porch sometime today anyway. Apparently, he has some other work he has to catch up on this morning since he spent time fixing the porch yesterday. He’ll be here later this afternoon.
We’ll take a few photos. I’ll upload them to my page and caption them with a story about how we’ve started dating. We’ll do a few more photo shoots in the days and weeks to come. He and his hacker friend will keep an eye on this ImSOBeefy guy to see if he backs off.
I guess if I had to have a fake boyfriend, I could have done worse than Chris. If he were going to have to pick a pretend girlfriend, he definitely could have done better than me. But for some weird reason, he’s volunteering to do this, and Meg and Joe think it’s a good idea, so I’m going forward with it.
I get ready for my day, checking in with Journey for my weekly coaching session. I can’t tell her a thing about how Chris and I are putting on a ruse. Journey’s active online and she always follows my posts. I need to keep this secret tucked away. But I do tell Journey my life has taken a surprising turn over the past few weeks.
She says, “Turns are good. Without turns, we only go in a straight line. Boring, unending, unchanging. Embrace the turn, Ella Mae.”
Um. Okay. I almost feel like I opened the wrong fortune cookie when I hear her response.
I continue to mull over Journey’s words after we hang up.Embrace the turn.
Maybe that just means to accept what’s going on and try not to fight it. Okay. Here goes me … embracing the turn.
I promised Meg and Joe I’d take engagement photos for them today. We pile into Joe’s car, and I direct them to various spots around town—the flower shop, where Joe hands Meg a bouquet and I snap the moment from different angles; the sweet shop, where they feed one another bites of a dessert; Main Street, where they walk holding hands; and finally, we go to the river.
I love taking photos out here. The lush green of the trees along the bank, the way the light plays off the water, and the occasional wildlife in the background all lend to the perfect shot. I have Meg and Joe sit on a fallen tree, looking into one another’s’ eyes. Then Meg sits between Joe’s legs while they both stare out at the water. I lead them to the river’s edge, so I can capture the perfect shot.
After a few serious poses, I call out, “Silly faces!”
They both stick out their tongues.
“That’s great! Now face one another and stick out your tongues!”
They do and then they burst into spontaneous laughter. I catch some great shots of them laughing, staring into one another’s eyes. In my favorite one, Joe’s holding Meg’s forearm in this unspoken gesture of care and protection. It’s everything.
“Okay, Meg, step behind Joe. I’m going to have you wrap your arms around his waist from behind. Joe, you’re going to sort of look over your shoulder and behind you at Meg. Right. Just like …”
Before I can finish my sentence, Meg squeals and then she shouts, “I’m slipping!”
She wobbles, slides, tips, and starts to drop away down the mud that lines the edge of the river. Her arms spin like pinwheels. Her back arches and bows as she tries to gain balance.
“Oh! … Aghhhhh! … Joe! … Oh, no! … Help! I’m going down!”
Joe turns and lurches for Meg. She grasps for his hand.
