Page 28 of Ripped & Shipped
“And people will watch this?”
“They so will.”
“Wow.”
Ella Mae shoots me a look.
I hold my hands up in mock surrender.
“Okay. Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Show some spirit, Soldier.”
For some reason, I wink at her. At Ella Mae. As much as I will never admit this to her or anyone, I’m having a lot more fun than I usually have on a Wednesday night. I came in here feeling weighed down by my hard day. Right now, I’m occasionally smiling, and actually enjoying myself.
Ella Mae looks at me and nods. I nod back. She pushes the button on her phone, and we’re live.
Usually, I’m very cautious about my online exposure. Tonight, I’m feeling uncharacteristically reckless. I’m still going to be careful. Ella Mae and I discussed her not mentioning the location of this restaurant and not using my last name. I can rest assured that none of my friends in Bordeaux will be watching her. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that the majority of Ella Mae’s followers have no clue who I am, and also have no interest in me at all.
Ella Mae smiles into the camera. “Well, peeps! Do I have a surprise for you!” She talks right at the screen, as if she’s actually talking to someone. “Remember the man who turned his back on me in the coffee shop? Some of you have taken to calling him Mister Shoulders?”
They have? Oh crud.
“Well, here I was, sitting by my lonesome. Just a girl, ordering a sandwich and a shake in a diner, even though she was way overdressed for the atmosphere.”
She looks down at her dress and does a little shimmy of her shoulders as she gestures to the dress with the hand not holding her phone. “And in walks Chris. When I told him about the change in plans with Drake, he volunteered to take Drake’s place for the night. Now, don’t you fret. Drake and I will still do a collab. Stay tuned for all those details later this week. But onward and forward, as my life coach, Journey, always says!”
She has a life coach? Named Journey?
“My stomach’s growling and Chris here’s a big boy. Big Boy! Oh my gosh! He’s a big boy in a Big Boy! Anyway, he’s massive. I mean, look at those arms, ladies.”
She turns the phone so it’s aimed at my chest and arms. I see only my chin along with the wide expanse of my torso on the screen. She pulls the phone back toward herself.
“Girls. Girls. Girls. Chris’ arms are as big as my legs. If I had a measuring tape we could measure my thigh circumference, and then measure around Chris’ bicep. He’d win, hands down.”
Thank God for the lack of a measuring tape, is all I can think right now.
“And what does that have to do with tonight’s challenge? It means the man has got to be hungry. A big boy like Chris has to work up an appetite just sitting around. So, let’s feed him.”
She’s not wrong. I do get pretty hungry by supper time. I’m not quite sure how to feel about being called a big boy, but the look on her face feels somewhat worth it. And since when did I care what look Ella Mae has on her face? Since I saw her dejected and nearly broken by that jerk, Drake. That’s when.
Ella Mae continues to carry on to her followers. I wonder how many of them are actually watching.
“The menu’s in my stories. Pop your thoughts as to what Chris should order in the comments. We’ll be back in five minutes to tell you what he got served. And then Chris and I will rate our meals for your entertainment.”
Ella Mae beams over at me. “Say hi to my peeps, Chris.”
She aims the camera at me. And this time it’s my face, not my arms, that is the focus.
“Hey,” I say with a little wave-salute motion to the camera.
Ella Mae holds the camera in front of me for a few more seconds, so I sit there smiling like an idiot. Then she moves back into the screen.
“What’s more yummy? The burgers or this man? I’ll let you know in a bit.” She winks. “Now go pick our meals and we’ll be back shortly.”
Ella Mae turns off the camera and collapses back into the booth.
