Page 136 of Ripped & Shipped
“Thank you, again,” she says. “I still don’t condone you doing something like what you did today without my knowledge or consent, but the more I thought about it, the more grateful I am. You took care of a big situation for me. No one has done anything like that before.”
“I’ll always take care of you—with permission.”
Ella Mae smiles.
Something feels heavy, and not necessarily in a good way.
“Are you okay? You seem like there’s something on your mind.”
“I went into the Seed and Feed today. Just needed some potting soil for the back garden beds. I got more stares. I don’t know why it’s getting to me now so much more than ever. Maybe it’s ramped up since we started dating.”
I want to go to that Feed and Seed and … I don’t know what. But I sit still, my eyes on Ella Mae. She’s hurting, but she’s trying to power through. I’m a problem solver. This is one problem I don’t know how to fix. The high I was riding from slicing the Beef evaporates in light of Ella Mae’s pain from being blacklisted here in town.
“I already didn’t fit in here, but now, with us dating, I can’t go anywhere without people treating me awfully. It’s like our dating has thrown a match on the smoldering fire between our families. I just need space to figure my life out. I don’t know how I can stay in this town with everyone treating me like I’m public enemy number one.”
Her eyes plead with me. I would give anything to fix this for her. My heart thrums with a need to protect her. This is my hometown. They’ve always cheered me on—in football, when Bridgette died, even when Mom took a turn for the worse. When I left for the military, they had a send-off. When I came home, they threw a party.
Now, when the most important and best thing in my life happens, they turn on the woman I love?
I wish I could whisk Ella Mae away—start fresh in Columbus. Maybe we could live near Alex and Courtney. But we’re so newly dating, and my family needs me near them. All my lifelong friends are here. I don’t know what to do to make this better for Ella Mae. It’s eating me up knowing I’m powerless to do anything.
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I don’t expect you to tell me anything, or do anything. Not all problems are yours to solve, Chris.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I need to get away for a while. Put some space between me and the whispers and stares.”
I try to put myself in her position. I’d want that too. Only, I could barely wait to get to her tonight. If she goes away, it will mean an even longer separation. Is this so easy for her—being apart? Doesn’t she miss me the way I miss her?
“I’d miss you a lot,” I tell her.
“I’m not moving—at least not yet. I just need to get some space. I don’t think you’ll ever know what it’s like for me. You’ve got really great friends who would do anything for you. Your family loves you. You are wanted here. I’ve never been wanted here.”
“I wanted you—I want you.”
Doesn’t that matter? I know I’m being partly selfish—maybe I’m being really selfish. I reach my arm behind Ella Mae and pull her in toward me. She rests her head on my chest.
“You’re basically the only one,” she says. “You and Meg. And now Meg’s getting married, so I won’t have her. Put yourself in my shoes.”
“I am, Boots. And it sucks. You’re one of the best people I know. It makes me angry knowing how people have treated you. I guess in some ways, I was one of them.”
“You weren’t like that. You said everything right to my face. And you never really disliked me. You just tried to boss me around and make me stop being so over-the-top.”
“I didn’t dislike you. You just got under my skin.”
“Yeah?”
She tilts her head up.
“Yeah. You got so far under my skin, I’ll never get you out. Not that I’d want to.”
She smiles and settles back into me.
We sit like that for a little while. Silence stretches between us. We’re both holding one another like we’re going to lose something precious if we let go. My hand runs up and down Ella Mae’s back, then I stroke her hair.
She’s right. This is not my problem to solve. That doesn’t make it an easier pill to swallow.
